The Fake News with Ted Nelms Page #2
- Year:
- 2017
- 62 Views
reach the President.
There just isn't, Ted.
They've looked.
- In the garage?
- I would assume, yes,
but
I will get back to you on that.
Okay. Thank you, Gail.
Turning
now to our panel,
is falling in
a well presidential?
I'm joined by Grant
Burdock, who used to host this show
until he was caught
lying about his military record,
and presidential
historian Nora Samuels-Newman.
Nora, is there
precedent for this?
Not exactly,
Ted, but, yes, a lot.
months in the belly of a whale,
but back then, presidents
didn't matter very much.
Fascinating.
Grant, presidential?
Ted, I'm offended
by the idea that presidents
have to act a
certain way simply because
they happen to be president.
That's just... racist.
No, it isn't.
And for another angle,
let's turn to
Stu McCoy in a tree.
Stu, is the President
being presidential?
Not sure, Ted.
I'm in a tree.
Sorry. I've
got to cut away.
Breaking
news in the murder trial of Branson Sutcliffe,
heir to the
Sutcliffe Caramel fortune.
Sutcliffe Caramel
Real cream
Real yummy
Let's go live
to Chase Terry, who is outside the courthouse.
Chase, what's happening?
Hi, Ted.
Sutcliffe's attorneys
have called a
sudden press conference.
As you can see, the
podium behind me is filled
with microphones indicating
an important announcement.
Surely, they'll
arrive any moment now.
Perhaps
we should check back in later, Chase.
Ted. Ted, uh, right now,
in the energy out here
much the same way a herd of elk
would sense a
predator in their midst.
Surely, the defense team
will be arriving right... now.
Right now.
[
Whispers ] Right -- Right now.
Okay. Chase,
why don't we check back in with you later?
Oh, hey, Ted! Uh, uh,
Ted, um, I have a new development.
Yeah!
Yeah?
I don't know. I don't know.
Chase, we
got a lot to get to.
When we return, Hurricane
Randy... [ Guitar riff plays ]
.
..can't stop, won't stop,
plus, is there
a moose in your house?
The answer
may surprise you.
And I hold President
Trump's feet to the fire
in an exclusive
pre-well interview.
Okay. Let's role-play for a minute.
Pretend I'm Bruce
Willis in "The Sixth Sense."
And you see dead people?
No, the kid sees dead
people. Bruce Willis is the ghost.
Remember? I mean,
it's a little complicated.
Bruce Willis is a dead person,
so I guess he
also sees dead people,
but that's not
the gimmick of the movie.
Do
you want to just watch it again?
Can't do that.
Forget it.
Announcer:
"TFN"-- Opiate of the masses.
And we're back. In a minute,
on the surprising
amount of feces
in the State
Department hallways.
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"The Fake News with Ted Nelms" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_fake_news_with_ted_nelms_20185>.
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