The Emperor Waltz Page #2

to see the little things

crawling around.

A great honor.

If there are five, I want three.

Is that exorbitant?

Your Majesty!

Don't be picayune, if it will

give the Emperor any happiness.

As for the bridegroom,

Yes, Your Majesty.

I think the union should be

brought about as quickly

as possible.

Of course, Your Majesty.

Spry as he is, he's

a rather elderly gentleman.

How old, Your Majesty.

Twelve.

Twelve!

Johanna, what possible

import... Twelve?

Not quite. He will be

on the seventh of September.

I suggest that the nuptials

take place in my kennels.

Kennels? With all

that barking going on?

We're talking about the poodles.

His Majesty's dog is asking

for the paw of Scheherazade.

Ohhh. Of course.

I'm no fool.

Scheherazade, did you hear

of your engagement?

What do you say?

[Barking]

How about

a piece of sugar?

[Barking Continues]

I'd love it.

[Barking Continues]

[Barking]

Buttons,

come here, come here.

Pull yourself together.

You'll spoil the sale for me.

You want to eat, don't you?

[Ticking]

[Exhales]

[Ticking Continues]

Must have wound

the mainspring too tight.

[Chuckles]

It's not supposed to do that

'til I pull the switch.

[Ticking Continues]

There's a plot on the life

of the Emperor. A time bomb!

That black box!

What's the matter?

Oh, I guess you'd

like to know what this is.

I'm not telling.

I'm gonna work it

on the Emperor first.

What a bang he's

gonna get out of it.

This is gonna kill him!

Ho-ho! Am I laughing?

Got a match? Here we are.

He'll be in sections.

This is gonna kill him.

[Ticking Continues]

[Bell Ringing]

You'll pardon my intrusion,

Your Majesty.

Will Your Majesty please

make all the haste possible?

What is it now?

A precautionary measure,

Your Majesty.

There seems to be

an assassin.

Oh, dear.

This gets to be

such a bore. Sorry.

Here. Here now!

What's the idea?

Come here!

Hey, wait a minute!

Hey, you! Wait a minute!

[Barking]

What's the matter with you?

Are you crazy?

You're under arrest!

Let go of me!

And drop that dog,

You dogs!

Search him! Now,

who are your confederates?

We want every name.

Is this the Emperor's palace

or a loony bin?

You came here as a potentate.

Are you a potentate?

I may have stretched things

a little, but I'm a Shriner.

Paid up.

You're a nihilist.

I am not.

I'm a Presbyterian.

A lie again. It says here

that you're a salesman.

Listen, wabble-face,

isn't it possible to be a

Presbyterian Shriner salesman?

You're trying to confuse me.

I am also

a registered Democrat,

a member

of the Chamber of Commerce,

a sandlot third baseman, and l...

Not so fast!

I have to talk fast.

If I don't, my sample's

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