The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning Page #2

- So we can tag some wild game.

- Yeah.

And then you can stop beating off

to them breast exam ads.

Hey, guys. Hey.

Daisy Duke.

You can't see it yet, but there's a woman

waiting to burst out of her

like an alien invader.

I promised her folks I wouldn't let her date

until she's 18 and she just hit 18.

And she's turning some heads.

What kind of heads is she turning?

And never far behind, Enos Strate.

He likes to hover waiting

to come to her rescue. Kind of sweet.

Look at you.

Oh, hey, Daisy.

Y'all are cuter than boxing gloves

on a kitten.

- Hi, Uncle Jesse.

- Hi. How was Bible school?

Well, Pastor Phil says,

you know, that being a virgin's cool,

so all us girls in class, we signed this oath

saying we won't have sex until marriage.

These are all the things we can't do.

Anyway, me and the girls are

real psyched about being virgins.

- All the girls signed this?

- You bet.

Can't wait to be a virgin again.

Luke, honey, you crying?

Just happy to see you, Daisy.

The Lord loves y'all.

He just wants you to know he'll be

with you all summer, too. Huh, Daisy?

Right. This is gonna be

the best summer ever.

You know what we should be doing

with this sh*t?

Should be blowin' this sh*t up.

Hey, you know you can make

low-grade bombs with manure?

Whoa! What are you doing?

- I'm going fast, so I can get done.

- Oh, yeah.

Okay, truce. Jeez.

Wash up. Come on in for supper.

We got ham hocks, pickles, pig's feet.

And you can finish shoveling that manure

after you have your dessert.

Then we're done?

Then you got to go down by the road

and fix the fence,

feed the chickens and bale some hay.

So, we work, what, all the time?

No, well, not all the time.

You get four solid hours of sleep.

And remember,

Annabelle can't inseminate herself.

God!

Nothing like a good day's rest

after an honest day's work.

Unless, of course,

you're planning your escape.

Vintage Luke Duke.

Sneaking off without me again?

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm 10, you're 11. The nurses' school.

The nurses.

You didn't want to climb that tree.

You wanted to map it out, draw

a diagram, take a course in tree climbing,

but I convinced you.

What did you see?

I saw boobies.

Big boobies, little boobies,

classy boobies, I saw a feast of boobies.

The Thanksgiving Day Parade of boobies.

And did you thank me?

Thank you.

No, you heard someone coming

and you got down.

I've had a lifetime of boobies.

But I will never, ever forget

you leaving me.

Six years ago, all right? I was a little kid.

Sweet ride.

Uncle Jesse's friends with a pimp?

Boss Hogg.

- That man knows how to live.

- That's business.

Money, power, probably got a hot wife.

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