The DUFF Page #2

all that reading.

Super. Where are your girls at?

- Who wants to know?

- The only man in your life.

Wesley, you wouldn't be in my life

if you were the only man

left on the planet.

Sticks and stones, B.

Speaking of stones, rock-hard abs.

- No, no.

- Touch them.

- No, no one wants that.

- Graze them.

Hey, there you are.

Wesley and Madison

were known around school

as "The Relationship Strobe Light."

On again, off again, a thousand times.

Okay.

Bianca. Well, this is awkw...

Sorry, were you just hitting

on my ex-boyfriend?

No, no. Just having some me time

at my locker.

- He approached me.

- Totally.

I agree. That could never happen.

I know you miss me.

That's a healthy thing you've got going.

Later, B.

B, it's a party.

You should wear something cute.

Here. Lots of options for you.

How about this?

Pretty.

- What the hell is this, underwear?

- No, it's a camisole.

No? Not for you? Okay.

How about this?

It's a little darker, kind of sexy.

Fine. Although I did hear Toby's

gonna be at the party tonight.

Oh, like that would matter.

I mean, it's not like

she's gonna say anything to him.

Excuse me, I might.

Maybe I'll, you know...

Yeah, on second thought,

I think I'm just gonna stick

with the old lucky party shirt.

- Wait for it.

- Bianca, don't do it.

- B.

- Says it on there.

No.

- And, you know, maybe...

- No.

- ...I'll round it out with old trusty...

- Not the flannel.

- Nice, muted tones.

- No.

That is not a good look.

This is a good look.

And that's my mom.

Three years ago my dad left her,

and she did not handle it well.

But one night divine inspiration struck.

You can expect to

go through five stages.

- The first is denial.

- No way, because I'm not dying.

- Second is anger.

- Why, you little...

After that comes fear.

- What's after fear? What's after fear?

- Bargaining.

You gotta get me out of this.

I'll make it worth your while.

- Finally, acceptance.

- Well, we all gotta go sometime.

And just like that,

she became Dottie Piper,

local celebrity to

the 40-and-over self-help crowd,

all-around rock star and occasional mom.

All right, let me tell you something.

I was in the depression stage

about my ex,

but I combined my ex with "depression,"

and I got "expression."

if you girls wanna really

knock the boys out,

you should project boldness

with a power pantsuit combo.

I'm gonna look like

Hillary Clinton, Mom.

I know, right?

Okay, kids, enjoy your party. I love you.

I have another seminar to prep for.

- Okay, bye.

- Bye.

- I love your outfit.

- Caitlyn, can you make sure

you get a shot of the desserts?

Jess, hair's looking good.

She needs a blow-out.

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