The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! Page #2

Year:
2010
1,062 Views


Foxxy Love, you're the worst

mystery-solving musician that's ever lived!

Yeah. The only case you ever

cracked was the display case at Zales.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, oh, l got one.

Foxxy, the only thing you're good at

is giving head,

and you managed to do the opposite!

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, yeah, good one, Wooldoor!

You, too, Wooldoor?

Oh...

(SlGHS)

Hey, champ.

l'm sorry about what l said before.

l was just trying to fit in.

Nah, Wooldoor, you was right about me.

l ain't no good at mystery solving.

That's not true.

You're the bestest mystery-solving

musician in the whole wide world!

l don't... (GROANlNG)

Shut the hell up.

Foxxy, l brought you a special someone

that l think will really cheer you up!

(GASPS) Papa?

You can come in now!

-Mrs. Wilkins?

Aah!

(GRUNTlNG)

Get her off! Get her off!

Silly Foxxy. Mrs. Wilkins is post-menopausal.

lt's impossible to get her off.

(RlMSHOT)

You'll pay for what you've done! Damn you!

What the hell is wrong with you, wooddork?

There is no good explanation

for what l've done.

You are clearly out your f***in' mind!

l'm sorry. l really...

-(GASPS) Did you hear that?

-What?

You out your f***in' mind!

l said "F***," and they didn't beep it!

F***! F***, f***, f***, f***!

(GASPS) What about "Sh*t"?

What about "C*nt"?

What about "Shitcunt"?

(GASPS) No beeps!

They ain't beeping the curse words!

(GASPS) Go on, try it! Say something!

Ok. Uh, schwartza. Mud baby.

Smoked lrishmen. lnk face!

Nah, dummy, they never censor racism.

l'm talking about words like shitcunt.

Ooh. l could never say that.

Those are bad words.

Ooh, if they ain't beeping,

maybe they ain't blurring nothing.

Quick, fool, whip it out!

-What?

-Show me your cock.

l thought you'd never ask.

(UNZlPS PANTS)

Whee!

Oh, Wooldoor,

you've been holding out on me!

Whoa! l've actually never

seen my penis unblurred before.

lt's way blacker than l thought it would be.

You know what this means? l was right!

There is a mystery to be solved.

And l's gonna solve it.

Thanks, Wooldoor.

So, little fella, let's go get you a burger.

Whee!

All right, ante up.

Deuces and one-eyed jacks are wild.

Wait, Spanky!

We can't start guys' night without Hero.

Well, if l had some mystery hottie,

l wouldn't be hanging around

with you schmendricks, either.

Our special guy time is

far more important to Hero

than being with some cheap floozy

who probably doesn't even

secretly eat his toenail clippings,

so at least a little part of

Hero can always be inside him.

Never fear! Captain Hero is here!

To play poker with the guys.

Oh! l knew you'd come!

(FLlES BUZZlNG)

Uh, Hero? ls that a dead girl?

Oh, hey, everybody, this is Molly.

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Dave Jeser

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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