The Dramatics: A Comedy Page #2

- Great.

- Are you stoned?

- No.

- Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Are you sure?

I'm kinda

in the zone here, babe.

Oh! Okay, super,

super quick.

Casting loved my

Master's Maiden tape.

Oh, that was the sex one, right?

It's not just the sex one.

It would be a huge opportunity for me.

Bryan J. Macy is directing. And he wrote

it, and he's gonna play the lead.

He sucks.

He just won an Oscar.

Yeah, well, awards are stupid.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing. I'm great.

Other than the fact that I'm

broke and can't sell a movie.

I mean, I think you need to

write one first.

F*** money.

F*** money?

Just bummed people need money for stuff.

It sucks.

Okay.

Well, I just pulled up out front

and I'm gonna need

a new pilates tape.

So can I use the living room?

Um, I'm using the space

right now.

- For how long?

- For as long as it takes.

Well, can you

give me an estimate?

By the way, you know you're not gonna

get a job just by working out, right?

Like you're the supreme

expert on how to get a job.

You f***ed Alex Wilson Dickson,

by the way.

Where's that coming from?

It comes from me having to see his

stupid face on billboards everyday

for his stupid,

not-funny show.

Rebecca Moss is on the cover

of f***ing Perceive.

Oh, give me a break.

Okay?

She gave me

half a blowj*b one time

You had full sex with him.

No, I didn't.

I just hooked up with him.

And what is half a blow job?

Well, apparently, it's half the amount

of blowj*b you gave Alex Wilson Dickson.

By the way,

we're going there. Tonight.

He's having that

dinner party at his house.

So, can you please just figure

out a way to get over it?

I'm not going to that sh*t.

All right? I already told you.

I hate your

stupid actor friends.

They sit around,

just trying to pump each other up.

- Trying to act like their life is so great.

- Such a dick!

Which, I got news for them,

they're not!

Okay? I got other sh*t

to do, by the way.

I'm sorry, but smoking pot

and jerking off,

does not constitute

other sh*t to do.

Okay, I was not jerking off.

I'm not going to that thing because

I'm going shopping for a gun.

You're going gun shopping?

Like, tonight?

I'm gonna start in the daytime. In late

afternoon, probably, when my schedule clears up,

and then I'm gonna continue until

I find the gun that I like.

It's probably gonna

take me into nightfall.

- Why do you want a gun?

- For protection.

- From what?

- From the f***ing elements, babe.

- Are you kidding me? From evil.

- Evil?

You're a vulnerable woman.

You need to be protected.

That's where I come in

With a gun.

Honestly, if you wanna protect me,

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