The Double

You're in my place.

I'm sorry?

You're in my place.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, you!

- Me?

- Visitors have to sign in.

Oh wait, I've worked

here for seven years.

- I see you every day.

- I don't work weekends...

- I'm sorry?

- ...It is therefore impossible

for you to see me every day. I.D.

- Yeah, I...

- Supplementary I.D.

Oh yeah, the funny thing

is I don't have any.

It's actually in my case, which

is in the door of a train.

- It got stuck.

- Do you think that's funny?

No. No, it's actually more

upsetting than anything else.

Don't make a jest of this, sir.

I won't.

Oh, um... Actually my

name is Simon James.

Uh, you left off the

"J" in my last name.

- I need to see your pass.

- Right.

Uh-huh.

Sorry.

Put your jacket on, son.

This isn't a brothel.

No shirking! This is the big push!

Plenty to do. The Colonel is counting

on each and every one of you, as am I.

Mr. Papadopoulos, actually...

Mr. Papadopoulos, excuse me.

Mr. Papadopoulos, I've finished up.

In fact, I completed substantially

more than my quota.

I took my jacket off only

because it's so hot,

not because I mistook the

office for a brothel.

Excellent job. That's the

type of initiative we need.

How long have you been here, son?

- Just started, eh?

- Yes sir, seven years ago.

You know we've been

pruning the dead wood.

The Colonel refuses to

carry any more passengers.

Er, actually, I have some

rather exciting ideas

I've been wanting to share

with the Colonel about how

we could make our

reports more efficient.

I think by using simple

regression analysis

we could really reconfigure

the entire business.

- My daughter's name is Melanie.

- A nice name.

She's interning for the holidays.

- Say hello, Melanie.

- Hello, Melanie.

Stanley here is gonna

be your mentor.

- Yes. What?

- An hour a day,

at your discretion.

She's a good girl,

- but no head for figures.

- Yeah.

Idiot.

- You can go now.

- Right. Yes, thank you.

Because if I were to

find out how depressing

and demeaning whatever the

f*** it is you do here,

I might be forced to

feel sorry for you.

Right. Well,

I look forward to it.

Hi.

Copy.

Oh.

Why don't you print out two copies?

That would make sense.

That would be what a

normal person would do.

- Sorry.

- You can't use this place for one copy.

- It was the same story yesterday.

- Sorry.

- You're always sorry.

- Sorry about that.

Hey, Hannah, can you stay late?

- I've gotta get this thing lanced.

- Uh-huh.

One copy.

Yes, please.

I know.

I know!

Yes, mom, I'll be there.

I always work late.

I'm trying to leave now.

Because I'm talking to you. Yeah.

Okay. Yes. Bye.

You can rely on me. Okay.

People...

The ultimate resource.

Yet to some businesses

they all look the same.

But the Colonel knows

people are different.

The Colonel knows business is

people and people are business,

making your business his business.

Because the Colonel knows people.

And the Colonel knows

that you demand

the most powerful

data-processing system

on the planet to make

sense of it all.

The Colonel will show you people

in a way your business

can understand.

Because the Colonel knows

there's no such thing

as special people.

Just people.

- Which one was you?

- Which one...

I don't know how to answer that.

The one... the one that was me.

He didn't look like you.

He had brown hair.

We both have brown hair.

I mean, I have... I...

We're the same person.

- I'm not gonna die ever...

- I know.

- ...so you can forget it.

- Okay.

Will you stop talking?

I'm trying to sleep.

Your mother says

you're a strange boy.

- I'm sorry?

- Your mother says you're a strange boy.

Oh. Thank you.

Let me see your hand.

Oh, that's okay. I'm fine.

You're not right.

May I speak with you?

Yes.

Will you excuse me?

Yes?

There seems to be a

discrepancy in your bill.

Oh yes, well, there was a

rather large cost increase

- and no explanation, so I thought...

- There's a new price.

- And why is that?

- Improvements.

- That seems a little...

- Unfair.

Yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

That's all I have.

Yeah.

It's not enough.

You shouldn't be doing that.

Sorry.

- And then what did you do?

- Sorry?

And then what did you do?

- I called the police.

- Right.

Anything else?

He waved at me.

- Yeah?

- Right before he jumped he waved.

How did he wave?

- Did you wave back?

- I wonder why he did it.

His note said he was lonely.

He should have got a dog.

Or exercised more.

That's important.

- Should I write that down?

- Maybe in parenthesis.

- Does that mean brackets?

- What the f*** are brackets?

- Did he suffer?

- Splat.

Do you see this sort

of thing often?

Every day. That's what

we do... suicides.

- Only suicides?

- That's right.

- For the whole city?

- We can barely cover the neighborhood.

You know the funny thing is

he would have landed on that awning if

he'd just jumped a few feet to the right.

You see that? He would

have fallen, bounced off

and landed somewhere about there.

Probably would have survived.

Horribly maimed,

of course, but still.

If you get 'em to the hospital quick

enough to stop the brain swelling.

You're not thinking of

killing yourself, are you?

Sorry?

- It's a simple question.

- No.

- Should I put him down as a "no"?

- Put him down as a "maybe."

What are you doing here?

The man that jumped?

- I saw it.

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