The Dog Problem Page #2

Casper.

Casper, are you awake?

You up?

I don't know.

Pal, the dog sh*t all over my house.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I don't... I don't know what to do.

I hate him.

I just...

I don't know what to do.

You want to take him back?

No.

I can't take him back.

There's no refunds.

Well...

I know this girl...

Did I wake you up?

No, no, no.

I just been reading and stuff.

So... I used to date her.

I used to f*** her.

- What?

- I don't know what I did.

I shot her once.

We f***ed... something.

Man, what am I doing?

I can't give the dog away.

What am I doing, man?

You're driving the car up to the thing.

Come on.

Don't... don't... don't do this.

This is fine.

This girl does this.

This is what she does.

What do you mean?

Like, for a living?

Yes. No, I mean,

she doesn't make money doing it,

but it's what she does.

Right up here.

Right up here.

- Pull up to the thingy.

- I am!

- Go to the thingy.

- I don't want to hit it.

You're not going to hit it.

Go to the thingy.

Well, what does she make money doing?

Jesus Christ.

Well, her father, um, owns the rights

to, like,

every great rock 'n' roll song ever written,

among other things.

The guy was, like,

a major pimp in the '70s.

Killed people and sh*t.

- Okay, he didn't kill people.

- Yes, he did.

- No, he didn't.

- Yes, he did.

Okay, you're just making that up.

Okay, somehow this

man ended up owning

a lot of valuable stuff.

- Well, that's obvious.

- Thank you.

I got a train set once.

Oh, he lives here too.

He's just never around.

He's got a place in, what do you call it?

Europe or some sh*t... Asia.

I don't know.

Would you push the button, please?

- Let's go.

- Push the button.

- Let's just go.

- Push the button.

I don't know.

I'm so bored, I could kill myself.

I don't know, b*tch.

Yeah, well, holler later.

I'm supposed to look at

this guy's dog right now.

I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Hey, b*tch!

Hey, Jules.

How you been?

Misery.

My life's impossible.

I bet it is impossible.

What's really good, mama?

Come on.

Nothing is good.

You're lying.

So how'd those pictures turn out?

They are very good.

They're not raunchy, are they?

No, not at all.

You guys want a bevvy?

You want a bevvy?

Uh, what have you... what have you got?

Oh, whatever you want.

Well, do you have any scotch?

I don't know.

Oh.

Hey, are all these dogs your dogs?

That's right, b*tch.

Until they get older, they are.

I take care of them

until they're old enough

they don't need caring and

then I give them away.

- Very noble.

- Thank you.

- Uh, who do you...

who do you give them to? - Whomever.

Well, what if you can't get rid of them?

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