The Dictator Page #2

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Aladeen! Aladeen!

Death to the tyrant!

Looks like we need

to find a new double.

Because this one is

You know, I don't know

if he's going to get better.

Oh, he's not going

to recover, sir. He's dead.

Send his wife some

chocolate covered almond nuts

in a cellophane wrapped box.

Delicious.

We're going to send

your wife some almonds,

Chocolate covered

versions of these,

Maroush, I think I dropped

an almond in his head.

Can you take it out?

What I don'! want to do is

send the body to the family

and then they discover

an almond in his head,

and they say,

"Why is there an almond in his head?"

Take it out,

Clean it!

How am I gonna eat that?

- Don't eat it.

- Oh, Maroush!

Listen, everything

is gonna be just fine.

I don'! want you to

worry about anything.

Yeah, how 'bout looking in my eye

when I'm speaking to you?

It's very rude not to look at somebody in

the eye when they're talking to you.

It's okay. Don't worry.

You're having a rough day.

We shot the wrong man.

I can fix this. I have a new

plan. We need to find a new double.

One that is simple enough to

be manipulated completely.

I think we found

what you are looking for.

You think this man

looks like me?

You have

a very ig barn.

You mus! have

many happy goats, hmm?

What the f***

does that even mean?

Uncle Tamir,

this thing is an idiot.

What makes you think

he can do the job'?

May I remind you that his only real job is

to be shot in the head.

Very well. Put him

through the process, okay'?

Clip his nails,

file his teeth,

bleach his skin,

and shorten the penis.

Megan! Megan!

You now have herpes.

Megan, you were

worth every penny,

You were super hot,

ls my jet ready'?

Yes, but do you

want to stay the night?

You know, I really

want to do some cuddling.

No. Your time is up,

I have to be

with the Italian Prime Minister tomorrow,

Okay. Maroush,

give the goodie bag!

Thanks,

I trust

everything is in there,

as your manager requested'?

Katy Perry said she got

a diamond Rolex.

That's because she let me

Aladeen in her face.

Okay.

Right. Are you sure you don'! want

to stay for some cuddles?

- No.

- But, please,

I really want

someone to cuddle.

Breaking news now.

Just moments ago,

the U.N. Security

Council voted

to authorize NATO

air strikes against Wadiya,

unless Admiral General Aladeen

agrees to address the U.N. in person.

And now the world waits.

What will Aladeen do next?

Next. No, no, no. No. Boring,

boring. Come on. Come on.

Beloved Oppressor,

I have just received disturbing news,

Welcome

to the Munich Olympics.

Shalom?

0y vey!

Supreme Leader,

the United Nations

demands that

you address their concerns

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