The Day the Earth Caught Fire Page #2

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- A flash.

"Spitsbergen reports the largest

earth tremors ever recorded."

Sorry I wasn't around, Sandy.

Okay, I'm used to it.

- You know anything about sunspots?

- Sunspots?

You hear that static?

My favourite tune. But I don't

think it'll make the top 10.

I'm not joking, Pete.

There's usually a lot of sunspot

static this time of year,

and during the last week

it's been heavier than ever.

The TV people are having

trouble with their picture.

And so's the public.

- Do me a 500-worder for the leading page.

- Success!

Wait a minute. Here are a couple

of items about navigation trouble.

- Maybe you can tie them in.

- Yeah, why not?

Hey, great idea.

With all these floods,

what about a Daily Express ark?

Great sales promotion, Sandy.

You know what, Pete? I really think

you're gonna have to try a bit harder.

This paper isn't built

to carry passengers.

All right?

Okay.

Well, Billy boy, they got

me doing your homework.

500 words on sunspots.

Have you seen the figures on

some of these earth tremors?

Is another planet

trying to contact us?

"Are you receiving me?

Are you receiving me?

"You are? Well, get knotted."

Must've been a hell of a big bang

to give these seismograph readings.

Tell me all about sunspots, Daddy.

Sunspots are caused when the rays of the

sun beat down on an unprotected torso,

thus causing a sun

rash similar to acne.

I thought it was clean

living that did that.

Ring up the Meteorological Centre.

See if you can speak to Sir John Kelly.

Maybe he'll give you some quotes.

- If not, you can talk to Pat Holroyd.

- Pat Holroyd, that berk from Picture Post?

Oh, he's a PRO now.

He's gone legitimate.

Well, this calls for

a celebration toast.

Pete, ring the Met Centre.

I'll be back. It's six and a half

minutes past my medicine time.

Get me the Met Centre, please.

- Thanks for holding on, Bill.

- Holding on to what?

My job. This may not be a revelation

to you, but, and I quote,

"The thrill is gone,

Bill, it's really gone."

You know what I think?

I should get my finger out

and peck on the typewriter.

- Roughly.

- Alcoholics of the press, unite.

Yes?

Oh, yes. This is Peter Stenning,

Daily Express. Sir John Kelly, please.

Well, it's nice of you to be interested.

I want to speak about sunspots.

Just one moment, please.

What do I do with the press?

What does he want you to do?

Wants to talk to

Sir John about sunspots.

Oh, dreary. Press office.

No direct calls to Sir John.

Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm putting

you through to the press office.

Look, I don't want the press office,

dear. I want Sir John Kelly.

All right, all right.

Then get me Mr Pat Holroyd.

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