The Darwin Awards Page #2
- R
- Year:
- 2006
- 94 min
- 104 Views
You can't follow me.
- What did you say this was for?
- Student film.
It's also a helpful research tool.
Mr. Burrows...
First Fidelity Life and Casualty already has
the most complete profiles in the business.
Yeah, you've got risk profiles for heart
disease, cancer, even drunk driving.
But nothing for these Darwin Award types.
But you have no experience
in insurance profiles.
I was the best on the force at personality
profiles... Predicting people's behavior.
Yeah, but we already have
a full staff of actuaries...
I can tell you what kind
of underwear you're wearing.
- Excuse me?...
- Bikini-cut briefs.
Color? Probably red.
- No, make that black.
- How do you...
If that were the case, how would you...
You have pictures of your wife
on your desk, but not of children.
Bikini-cut briefs drastically
reduce a man's fertility.
Being in the insurance industry,
my guess is you're aware of this...
and your fertility restriction is by design.
Probably 'cause you're having an affair.
Given your age andjob status, there's a
But the two gifts in your
office make it a certainty.
One from Gump's, obviously for your wife...
probably bought out of guilt.
The other, from Sugarpuss on Haight Street...
which, let's just say, is not
where one shops for their wife.
According to psychological studies...
black is the color chosen by men
in midlife crisis trying to rebel...
but who, in fact, are
simply... terrified of death.
Damn.
- Could you turn the camera off, please?
- You got it.
Why...
care about these Darwin cases?
The cases I describe in my report cost
your company $22 million per annum.
- That's last year alone.
- Jesus.
- You said there's no profile.
- Right.
Well, we create one.
You can predict a person's
For instance, if you weigh over 250
pounds, use bar soap rather than liquid...
and don't have a nonskid surface in
your shower, you have a 2.2% chance of...
That's worldwide.
Sad thing is, 90% of these
accidents are preventable.
Just requires a little precaution.
Get someone to study
factors, you got your profile.
Screen against this profile,
you'll save $22 million per annum.
Okay. Okay. You begin immediately...
and, um, you start with... with those.
These cases are all over the
country. See, I don't travel.
- I've never been out of San Francisco.
- Well, that's a deal-breaker.
You have four weeks to prove your theory.
If you're right, you have a job. If not...
Four weeks isn't nearly enough time.
I'm gonna pair you with a claims investigator.
And she specializes in, um, unusual cases.
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"The Darwin Awards" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_darwin_awards_6389>.
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