The Con Is On Page #2

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[telephone ringing]

- Yes?

- Irina, my angel.

[speaking Russian]

How are you?

[sighs] What do you want?

Well, it's been such

a long time, hasn't it?

I'd been meaning to call you up and

have a nice little chat with you.

But where does time go, hmm?

Where do you think?

Sidney, I'm busy.

Well, this won't take long.

I understand that you're

looking for a certain person,

and that you're prepared

to pay a very handsome price.

Hold on.

[grunts]

[clears throat]

Talk to me.

[jazz music playing]

[Harry]

We need a hotel.

[man] We need a better

plan than drugs up my bum.

- Welcome to the Chateau Marmont.

- Thank you.

- [grunts]

- [tires screech]

Stop! Stop!

- Oh, my God! I am...

- You nearly killed him!

- I am so sorry.

- Darling, are you all right?

- He could've killed me.

- Where's the manager?

Uh, this way, please.

I...

I only hope this suite

goes some way

towards making up

for this unfortunate accident.

It'll do.

And call a doctor.

- I need some painkillers.

- [man] Right away, sir.

Send us a personal shopper, will you?

We seem to have misplaced our clothes.

[man] Absolutely.

Chop-chop. On you go.

[music playing]

[sighs]

Fix us a drink, darling.

We're supposed to be going

on f***in' holiday.

[Harry] We've gone abroad, haven't we?

It's what you wanted.

Los Angeles is not holiday.

It's a f***in' lobotomy.

And being hunted down by Joseph Stalin

is far from relaxing. Gin and tonic?

Lovely. What do you think?

F***in' whore.

That's not the look

I was going for, but...

No. Not you. It's Jackie. Look.

[Harry] Oh.

Looks like she's

having trouble at home.

Perhaps we should

pay her a visit.

No, no. Don't get

distracted, darling.

You leave Jackie out of it.

'Course.

[snorting, exhales]

[jazz music playing]

- How many have you had?

- Four. You need to catch up.

Four martinis, please.

I hope seeing Sidney

isn't the extent of your plan.

How the hell are we gonna

pay Irina back?

Any ideas, mate?

I can always get in

on some games.

Are you insane?

- What?

- My wife has a gambling problem.

The problem is

she's no bloody good.

And tell me one thing, my sweet.

Hmm?

Why does she hate you so much?

And it's not solely

because of the cash.

There's some other reason.

I want to know what it is.

- Oh, you do, do you?

- Yes, I do.

Let's say she had

a little crush on me.

[drink sloshes]

Do you mind? This happens

to be a private conversation.

And when was this?

Oh, years ago.

You didn't know me then.

I was in Monte Carlo

doing some charity work.

Charity work? In Monte?

Do you want to hear

this story or not?

Carry on.

[lounge music playing]

[Harry] I was raising funds on behalf

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