The Comedian Page #3

---

you wanna try that again?

Mr. Berkowitz.

No.

No?

No?

No. Your Honor

there's no way Mr. Severin

could've suffered brain damage

because according to the law,

the way I understand it

it has not been proven in this

courtroom that Mr. Severin,

in fact, has a brain.

Mr. Berkowitz, do not test me

today in my court.

Look at him now, Your Honor.

You can tell by his face.

The look like Donald Trump

banged Alfred E. Neuman

after a night of snorting

thalidomide.

Can he say that to me?

Order in the court.

Mr. Berkowitz, that's enough.

Jackie, that's enough.

Let me talk!

All right.

It isn't about me, Your Honor.

It's about the fate of humanity,

which is in your hands.

Look at him.

He's with that woman.

They were together that night.

What if they breed?

Are you serious?

Objection.

Get him out of here.

Mr. Berkowitz,

you are in contempt.

The people have changed

their mind. No deal.

Take him out of here.

Nassau County Correctional

Facility for 30 days.

Order in the court.

Up the stairs.

All right, gentlemen,

lock it in!

Stop at the top of the landing.

Walk in four feet and stop.

Okay, gentlemen. Ready?

Let's give a warm welcome

to our newest resident.

He's the king of his castle

Eddie's home

Where he's making a scene

Eddie's home

With the kid and Arlene

Eddie's home

Suck my dick, a**hole!

You gonna be my b*tch.

... or he's gonna

Kick your ass

God, it's freezing. Let me

turn on these seat warmers.

Bet you didn't have those

in there.

I came up with some good

stuff in there.

Smart. Good.

I'd try it out on you,

but you never, you know...

You have no sense of humor.

No, I don't.

I've never seen you laugh.

Ever.

No, you haven't.

Why is that?

Can you imagine if I had to be

an audience for all my comics?

"You laughed at his joke,

you didn't laugh at mine."

"You think he's funny.

He's not even that funny."

Forget it.

I just react to no one,

that way everybody feels equal.

So you call

that personal management?

Your father, at least,

had affection for his clients.

Well, affection

his clients didn't have for him.

Got you the TV show,

and you fired him.

No, that was a William Morris

package deal.

Your father understood.

Don't talk to me

about affection.

I'm not talking about affection.

I'm talking about getting work.

You gotta stay in New York

to serve out your sentence,

right?

There are no money gigs

for you here.

You can do club work,

$30 a show.

It will take you 7000 shows

just to pay off your attorney.

I will get you Indian Casino,

Princess Cruise

something like that

in a few months.

But as you know,

they are hiring "Eddie."

I mean, I'm...

I'm hot now. I'm viral.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes