The Closet Page #2

Synopsis: François Pignon, a very bland sort of man who works as an accountant in a rubber factory, is about to be fired. His new neighbour comes up with an idea to prevent such a thing to happen: he spreads the rumor that he's gay so that the factory management might be afraid they'll be sued for sexual discrimination. Of course, nothing happens as it should, but the changes in François Pignon's life -and other people's too- is drastic !
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Francis Veber
Production: Miramax
  1 win.
 
IMDB:
7.1
Metacritic:
72
Rotten Tomatoes:
85%
R
Year:
2001
84 min
$4,519,967
Website
453 Views


You're right. If you camp it up,

you'll be a flop.

You bet!

It's hard,

especially playing a flamer.

Most actors who try

are way off and vulgar.

So it won't work.

No. You'll pull it off

if you do nothing at all.

Just stay the shy, discreet

person they've known for years.

What'll change

is how they perceive you.

Suzanne!

That's Pignon!

Holy sh*t!

Francoise? Pignon, in accounting,

you'll never guess...

Wait, I'll send you a copy.

Robert? You sitting down?

Don't hang up.

Morning Martine, Suzanne.

Morning, sir.

How's the mail today?

I'll bring it right in, sir.

Well?

I want to know

who sent them, and why!

If only there was

an anonymous letter:

"Don't fire Pignon!

We'll tell the media

"you hate gays."

But just these photos...

We're not firing him

cause he's gay!

But people will say that's why!

I've got nothing against gays!

Damn that f*ggot!

What do we do?

Madame...

Gentlemen. Good morning!

Before we get down to business,

I want you to see these.

They're your sons.

Good looking boys!

No, the bareassed guy

is an accountant here.

Pass them around.

It's Pignon!

- Who took them?

- I don't know, but it's hateful.

How surprising!

Not to me.

I tried him out at rugby.

You can spot them at once!

Broke his collarbone!

Had to give up pantyhose!

This is no joke. We have to solve

the Pignon problem.

We did. He's being fired!

What do we make here, Santini?

Sorry?

- What kind of products?

- Products made of rubber.

What is our star item?

Con... Cond...?

...doms.

If we fire him, we'll have

every gay movement on our backs.

Better to have them

on your back than up...

What do you do Saturday nights?

I asked how you spend

Saturday nights. Gay bashing?

Not at all!

Where do you go?

The park, to hunt drag-queens?

That humor is out now.

I won't say it twice!

I've consulted our PR head.

We decided this:

we keep Pignon for now,

and stay out of his private life!

We must!

- He's so dumb.

- Outdid himself!

- Let's make him...

- Less dumb? No hope!

We can try!

He let you have it!

I lightened the mood,

and he slammed me!

- You'd better watch out.

- Why?

You're on your way out.

He's got his eye on you.

You can't fire a guy

for a mild joke!

Would they fire me for that?

If I were you,

I'd be very nice to Pignon.

What do you mean

very nice?

You're known

as a macho gay-basher.

To change that,

take Pignon to lunch.

I won't lunch with that fruit!

I hope no one heard you.

"l can't,

I'm lunching with Pignon!"

Very good.

What a world! They fire straights,

and keep on every stinking...

- Who copied it?

- Dunno. We're all giggling.

Put it away, he's due.

- Aren't they cute?

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Francis Veber

Francis Paul Veber (born 28 July 1937) is a French film director, screenwriter and producer, and playwright. He has written and directed both French and American films. Eight French-language films with which he has been involved, as either writer or director or both, have been remade as English-language Hollywood films: Le grand blond avec une chaussure noire (as The Man with One Red Shoe), L'emmerdeur (as Buddy Buddy), La Cage aux Folles (as The Birdcage), Le Jouet (as The Toy), Les Compères (as Fathers' Day), La chèvre (as Pure Luck), Les Fugitifs (as Three Fugitives), and Le dîner de cons (as Dinner for Schmucks). He also wrote the screenplay for My Father the Hero, the 1994 American remake of the French-language film Mon père, ce héros. Some of his screenplays started as theater plays (for instance, Le dîner de cons). This theatrical experience contributes to his films' tight structure, resulting in what has been called "marvels of economy".Many of his French comedies feature recurring types of characters, named François Pignon (a bungler) and François Perrin (a bully). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Closet" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_closet_15945>.

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