The Clapper Page #2

Synopsis: 15 minutes of fame destroys the life of a man who works as a clapper in television.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Dito Montiel
Production: Momentum Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
21
Rotten Tomatoes:
30%
R
Year:
2017
89 min
254 Views


Chris's dog?

No, the dog's not

an optometrist, Judy.

[LAUGHS]

Unbelievable.

You know what would be

a good idea?

I mean, just off

the top of my head,

maybe put out some flash cards

for the customers

so they can hold up the cards

that say what they want,

like "cigarettes"

or "I want more gas" or...

- Lottery tickets?

- Yeah, lottery tickets!

You know, different cards for

when the speaker goes out.

Yeah, that would be

really helpful.

You always have

such good ideas.

Yeah, thanks.

- [SIREN WAILING]

- [HORN HONKING]

Oh, my God,

you're killing me!

I'm gonna get the gas, Judy.

- All right.

- Bye.

Bye, Eddie.

Pull the trigger,

dispense the nail,

and whack it in with one hand.

Or switch hands.

It'll feel like someone else

is whacking it for you.

[LAUGHTER]

So what you're telling me is,

"Goodbye, conventional hammer?"

You hit the nail

on the head, sir.

Goodbye, conventional hammer.

Goodbye, conventional nails.

Goodbye, conventional life.

And hello, Nailhammer!

- [SCREAMS]

- [AUDIENCE GASPS]

Much better

on the question, Eddie,

but, Chris, you have

to be laughing harder

when that sign comes on.

Your little chuckles

aren't gonna cut it anymore.

- No more chuckles.

- Right.

And, Alma, enough with

the sandwiches already, okay?

We're trying to do a show.

Stop with the eat...

I had two questions today.

That's like an extra 100 bucks.

Uh, sorry, word from above is

no more bonuses for speaking.

- Yugoslavia!

- Yes, ma'am.

Normal people

don't wear red, okay?

That guy, he got a nail

in his hand, right?

Thank you.

Thank you for the info.

This stuff is

for SAG members only,

so unless you have a SAG card,

I need you to keep it moving.

Excuse me! We're part

of the show, all right?

So we got every much a right

to that as anybody.

Chris, get whatever you want.

Okay, just... That's enough.

Use a plate.

There's napkins.

That's unsanitary.

EDDIE:
What's going on with

the sandwich police back there?

That was unbelievable.

These people walk all over you,

you know what I'm saying?

You know why?

'Cause we don't have a union.

That's what we need, a union.

- Yep, totally.

- That's what I'm saying.

You know what Rudy was telling

me, from market research?

Oh, not Rudy.

Yeah, he said that all

those shows in the '70s,

all those clappers

are all dead now.

I heard the same thing.

So how do they use the new ones?

They're all dead people.

- Using who?

- The new ones?

Yeah, they're like

dead people laughing.

- How is that even possible?

- That's crazy.

Wait, what?

Who's even telling the story?

- Who?

- Me. I'm telling the story.

Okay, if I wasn't

such an idiot,

I would feel like a moron,

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Dito Montiel

Orlandito Montiel (born July 26, 1965), better known as Dito Montiel, is an American author, screenwriter, film director and musician. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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