The Butter Battle Book

Synopsis: A tale of two hostile neighboring countries, one country is occupied by the Yooks, while the other is occupied by the Zooks. Both countries don't agree with each others ideology. Due to this issue they ended up building a wall in between the border of the two opposing cultures. The main reason they hate each other is because both cultures have a different way of buttering their bread. The Yooks eat their bread butter side up while the Zooks eat their bread butter side down. The story is told by the perspective of a Yook border patrol guard who tries to outwit a Zook name Van Itch with the latest Yooks weapon. However every time the border guard presents his weapon, Van Itch would have a weapon that is able to counter attack the Yook's weapon. This leads to an arms race with results leading to a mutual assured destruction.
30 min

Once again by the Zooks

I was bested and beat.

Once again I limped home

from the Wall in defeat.

I was losing my

gumption, losing my will,

when the Right-side-up

song girls marched over the hill!

Never give up,

never tremble or flutter,

never sad, never drab,

never stumble or stutter!

Believe in yourself and

the bread that you butter,

have faith in your butter,

be steadfast and true,

remember all Yookdom

depends on you!

Forget what has

happened, my boy.

We have voted to

make you a general.

Youve been promoted!

Your pretty new uniforms ready.

Get in it! And next time when

you go up to battle, you'll win it!

The boys in the back

room have figured out how;

just wait till you see what

they've puttered up now!

To clobber those Zooks

in their land of bad butter,

we have builded a thing

called the Utterly Sputter.

It's a plane that's so

modern and frightfully new,

even we don't quite

know all the things it can do.

But the main thing it does is to

sprinkle blue goo all over the Zooks!

Happy trip! Toodeloo!

We spread our bread

the way we ought,

we spread the way

our mothers taught,

we fought the wars

that must be fought.

Yook, yook,


Win we will

and win we must,

our hearts are

true, our course is just,

our bread is pure

from crust to crust.

Yook, yook,



rightly makes us free.


Yooks and Yookaree!

Spreading to eternity,

yook, yook, yook,

yook, yook-a-lu-jah!

Yook, yook, yook, yook,

yook-a-loo, yook-a-loo, yook-a-lu-jah!


How do you like MY plane?

Forget it, old fellow!

You are stymied again!

Buster, that was a pretty

sour flight that you flew.

And the chief Yookeroo...

Well, he is looking for you!

To make the world's

most mighty weapon

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Butter Battle Book" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 2 Dec. 2020. <>.

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