The Break-Up Artist Page #2
- PG-13
- Year:
- 2009
- 105 min
- 58 Views
Come on. Come, come.
Um, these guys aren't
drunk enough to hit on Brit.
Let's scare her up
a man.
Chick dancing, guys? No.
I'm not--
Hey, you're hot.
Have I seen you
someplace before?
Yeah. Yeah, you have.
- That's why I don't go there anymore.
- Yeah, totally!
Yeah.
Hey, where are you going?
Don't be so picky.
Stupid guys.
Stupid $11 drinks.
Hi. I'm looking
for Britney Brooks.
Look, the rumors are false. I'm not
looking for The L Word type action.
I'm so sorry it's late.
It's just-- It's my boyfriend. I--
It's okay. Come on in.
I'm a convenience store--
always open.
Rick is just
the most amazing guy.
I mean, he's so kind
and caring and sensitive.
And his body,
it's just sick!
I mean, he does yoga.
His Downward Dog, it's just--
it's just legendary.
I mean, I'm treating him like
dirt right now, like icky dirt,
not like that fancy, nutrient-rich
dirt that they sell at Home Depot.
Can't I just break up
with him in person?
It's a bad idea. Look, men
are genetically programmed...
with an ability to convince us that they can
change when we're just about to dump them,
that the second chance will be different
than the 12 others we've given them.
Listen. As an independent
third party,
I will be completely immune to all
his charms, pleas and pathetic cries.
I'm the break-up artist.
It's what I do.
Thank you.
How do you handle this business?
I mean, it's gotta be so depressing
dealing with everyone else's misery all day.
Strong humans like me have a duty to
help people who actually believe in love,
the ones who make tissue
and Prozac a necessity.
Plus, I never take
my work home with me.
You couldn't be anything else?
- Oh, you'll see.
I'll be back before you know it.
- I hope so.
Oh, my love, I shall miss you
every moment when you're gone.
I love you, sweetheart.
Hey, come on.
All aboard if you wanna get there.
Thank God you're here.
We thought you left with
one of those creepy club guys.
I even watched the news this morning
to see if they found your dead body.
Your 1:
00 just canceled. They saidthey found another break-up service.
Probably another freelance dumper.
They never last.
You don't mess with the best,
and that's Britney Brooks.
She always talks about herself
in the third person.
Tiffany hates that.
Uh, excuse me.
I'm waiting for someone.
Rick, right? Britney.
Look, uh, Sally,
she thinks you're a great
guy and she loves you,
but, well, she's just
not in love with you.
So, that's why she's
breaking up with you.
Uh--
- It's not you. It's her.
No, it's-- it's me.
I should have treated
her better.
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