The Birdcage

Synopsis: Armand Goldman owns a popular drag nightclub in South Miami Beach. His long-time lover, Albert, stars there as Starina. "Their" son Val (actually Armand's by his one heterosexual fling, twenty years before) comes home to announce his engagement to Barbara Keeley, daughter of Kevin Keeley, US Senator, and co-founder of the Committee for Moral Order. The Senator and family descend upon South Beach to meet Val, his father and "mother." What ensues is comic chaos.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mike Nichols
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 6 wins & 25 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
117 min

l don't believe it.

You're shaving your chest now?

l didn't have time to wax.

lndifference is the most awful thing

in the world.

l've done everything l could

to make myself attractive for you.

l've lost and gained

over a hundred pounds in the last year.

l've yo-yoed from a 16

to a 10 to a 16...

and you've never said a word.

Not one hint of encouragement.

Not one scrap of validation.

lf not for the Pirin tablets,

l don't think l could go on.

lf you don't finish making up,

l'm going to kill myself.

You don't love me anymore.

Oh, shit.

-There's a man in your life.


l sense it.

And l saw

a bottle of white wine...

chilling in the refrigerator.

l only drink red.

And so do you.

There's no man.

l'm switching to white

because red has tannins.

Now there are 150 people out there,

half of them Kennedys, waiting for you.

Waiting to applaud you.

To applaud the great Starina.


-What do you do while l'm onstage?

-Nothing. l lie here.

Where do you go while l'm killing

myself onstage? l know that look.

Go ahead, hit me.

Go on.

That's what you want to do.

Do it. Hit me.

Go on, hit me.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the one, the only...

the incomparable Starina.

Thank you

and welcome to The Birdcage.

As you see, l've just gotten back

from safari. l picked up a new muff.

Look, it comes with accessories.

Don't look at me like that.

l didn't kill him.

He died and left me everything.

Where are the adorable couple

celebrating their anniversary?

Mon congrats, you sweeties.

l may have something

to celebrate myself very soon.

l think l have found the one.


You know l hate to brag, but...

l know this grocery clerk


Some think the boy's a jerk

Excuse me.


What do you think?

You look like Lucy's stunt double.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Elaine May

Elaine Iva May (née Berlin; born April 21, 1932) is an American screenwriter, film director, actress, and comedienne. She made her initial impact in the 1950s from her improvisational comedy routines with Mike Nichols, performing as Nichols and May. After her duo with Nichols ended, May subsequently developed a career as a director and screenwriter. Her screenwriting has been twice nominated for the Academy Award, for Heaven Can Wait (1978) and the Nichols-directed Primary Colors (1998). May is celebrated for the string of films she directed in the 1970s: her 1971 black comedy A New Leaf, in which she also starred; her 1972 dark romantic comedy The Heartbreak Kid; and her 1976 gritty drama Mikey and Nicky, starring John Cassavetes and Peter Falk. In 1996, she reunited with Nichols to write the screenplay for The Birdcage, directed by Nichols. After studying acting with theater coach Maria Ouspenskaya in Los Angeles, she moved to Chicago in 1955 and became a founding member of the Compass Players, an improvisational theater group. May began working alongside Nichols, who was also in the group, and together they began writing and performing their own comedy sketches, which were enormously popular. In 1957 they both quit the group to form their own stage act, Nichols and May, in New York. Jack Rollins, who produced most of Woody Allen's films, said their act was "so startling, so new, as fresh as could be. I was stunned by how really good they were."They performed nightly to mostly sold-out shows, in addition to making TV appearances and radio broadcasts. In their comedy act, they created satirical clichés and character types which made fun of the new intellectual, cultural, and social order that was just emerging at the time. In doing so, she was instrumental in removing the stereotype of women being unable to succeed at live comedy. Together, they became an inspiration to many younger comedians, including Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin. After four years, at the height of their fame, they decided to discontinue their act. May became a screenwriter and playwright, along with acting and directing. Their relatively brief time together as comedy stars led New York talk show host Dick Cavett to call their act "one of the comic meteors in the sky." Gerald Nachman noted that "Nichols and May are perhaps the most ardently missed of all the satirical comedians of their era." more…

All Elaine May scripts | Elaine May Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Український (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this The Birdcage script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"The Birdcage" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 2 Apr. 2020. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

The Birdcage

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.