The Birdcage Page #2

Synopsis: Armand Goldman owns a popular drag nightclub in South Miami Beach. His long-time lover, Albert, stars there as Starina. "Their" son Val (actually Armand's by his one heterosexual fling, twenty years before) comes home to announce his engagement to Barbara Keeley, daughter of Kevin Keeley, US Senator, and co-founder of the Committee for Moral Order. The Senator and family descend upon South Beach to meet Val, his father and "mother." What ensues is comic chaos.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mike Nichols
Production: MGM Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 6 wins & 25 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
72
Rotten Tomatoes:
79%
R
Year:
1996
117 min
10,081 Views


He died and left me everything.

Where are the adorable couple

celebrating their anniversary?

Mon congrats, you sweeties.

I may have something

to celebrate myself very soon.

I think I have found the one.

Yes.

You know I hate to brag, but...

# I know this grocery clerk

# Unprepossessing

# Some think the boy's a jerk

Excuse me.

Hello.

What do you think?

You look like Lucy's stunt double.

I'm a combination

of Lucy and Ricky.

And it's terrifying. Get out

the white wine and an ice bucket...

chill two glasses

and take the night off.

Why do you talk to me

like I'm your servant?

Because you're

our faithful houseman. Go!

My father was the shaman

of his tribe. Okay?

My mother was

the high priestess.

Then why the hell did

they move to New Jersey?

I don't know. They were stupid.

They want me to have a career.

Hello? A career? When will you

let me audition for you again?

When you have talent. Take that wig off,

or I'll tell Albert you wore it.

You do that, I'll tell him you're

seeing someone while he's onstage.

I have two words for you:

green card.

Now go! And leave

the front door unlocked.

You're such a beast to everybody.

Come on, Gloria.

You keep getting better looking.

Thank you.

So do you.

Oh, no. Really?

I feel bloated.

- You think I look good?

- You look great.

That's very sweet.

I'm glad you cut your hair.

- Did you eat?

- Yes.

Something to drink?

- Beer, if you have it.

- I do not. Talk about bloat.

White wine.

Swell.

- How long has Albert been on?

- He just went on.

I gave Agador the night off.

So we're all alone.

As requested.

Since when do you like beer?

I have something to tell you.

But I don't want you to get

how you get.

Oh, God.

I'm getting married.

I didn't want to tell you

over the phone.

It's a girl.

I met her at school.

It's wonderful...

Are you upset?

Let me tell you why.

First, you're only twenty.

Pop, I know, I'm young.

But you've always said I was

a very levelheaded guy. And I am.

I have job offers. I know what I want.

And I have an incredible role model.

- Oh, please.

- It's true.

I'm the only guy I know

who isn't from a broken home.

Stop flattering me.

It's cheap.

Is it all right, Dad?

Does it matter?

Of course it does.

Say it's okay, before Albert arrives

and starts screaming.

I can't.

And I won't.

This is too crazy.

You do this, you're on your own.

Got that, sport?

Don't come back.

Don't ask me for anything.

- I want nothing to do with it.

- Okay.

- If that's how you feel.

- I do.

- Fine. Good-bye, Pop.

- Good-bye, Son.

Rate this script:4.0 / 3 votes

Elaine May

Elaine Iva May (née Berlin; born April 21, 1932) is an American screenwriter, film director, actress, and comedienne. She made her initial impact in the 1950s from her improvisational comedy routines with Mike Nichols, performing as Nichols and May. After her duo with Nichols ended, May subsequently developed a career as a director and screenwriter. Her screenwriting has been twice nominated for the Academy Award, for Heaven Can Wait (1978) and the Nichols-directed Primary Colors (1998). May is celebrated for the string of films she directed in the 1970s: her 1971 black comedy A New Leaf, in which she also starred; her 1972 dark romantic comedy The Heartbreak Kid; and her 1976 gritty drama Mikey and Nicky, starring John Cassavetes and Peter Falk. In 1996, she reunited with Nichols to write the screenplay for The Birdcage, directed by Nichols. After studying acting with theater coach Maria Ouspenskaya in Los Angeles, she moved to Chicago in 1955 and became a founding member of the Compass Players, an improvisational theater group. May began working alongside Nichols, who was also in the group, and together they began writing and performing their own comedy sketches, which were enormously popular. In 1957 they both quit the group to form their own stage act, Nichols and May, in New York. Jack Rollins, who produced most of Woody Allen's films, said their act was "so startling, so new, as fresh as could be. I was stunned by how really good they were."They performed nightly to mostly sold-out shows, in addition to making TV appearances and radio broadcasts. In their comedy act, they created satirical clichés and character types which made fun of the new intellectual, cultural, and social order that was just emerging at the time. In doing so, she was instrumental in removing the stereotype of women being unable to succeed at live comedy. Together, they became an inspiration to many younger comedians, including Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin. After four years, at the height of their fame, they decided to discontinue their act. May became a screenwriter and playwright, along with acting and directing. Their relatively brief time together as comedy stars led New York talk show host Dick Cavett to call their act "one of the comic meteors in the sky." Gerald Nachman noted that "Nichols and May are perhaps the most ardently missed of all the satirical comedians of their era." more…

All Elaine May scripts | Elaine May Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "The Birdcage" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_birdcage_4119>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    The Birdcage

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.