The Big Wedding Page #2

Would you like to meet her?

There you are.

Am l dead?

Sorry. Jared'll be in in a sec.

My hero.

He's a sweetie, huh?

l hope this isn't too inappropriate to ask,

but is it true that he's never really had...

lt's true.

Okay. What kind of a doily

passes out in the Daddy's Room?

- l hope you feel better.

- Thank you.

- Doctor.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

She's perky.

Who, Jane? Yeah, she's great.

She's screaming for a shot at the title.

Nice.

What could possibly be wrong with her?

l am so over this whole

fresh-faced, lvy League,

preppie, bouncy, ponytail-y type.

Don't you have to be under one first?

Good one.

She knows, by the way.

Yeah. A bunch of us went out

for too many margaritas last month.

Now they have, like,

an un-virgin pool going.

What?

A bevy of hot nurses

are conspiring to bang your brains out?

You should press charges.

No, not my brother. He's gotta wait for love.

Yeah, well...

lt seemed like

a really noble idea when l was 15.

Anyway, l'm starting to waver.

Shut up.

No, l'm gonna be 30 soon.

But then that would mean

that l've wasted the last

15-plus years.

You're fine.

Well, call what's-her-name back in here.

Come on. You can use my bed.

l'll wait in the hall. l can laugh really quietly.

Or l could just put you back in there

with the babies.

No.

Whoa, whoa. You okay?

l want you to...

Look right at me. Right at my nose.

Yeah, you might have a concussion.

How will l know?

Headaches, vomiting.

And l haven't even seen Dad yet.

Hey. Where's Andrew?

l don't know. Can we bookmark it?

l want to keep the whole "Lyla's desiccating

her life" lectures down to one a day.

l can't wait.

See you, Jared.

Neither can they.

He's huge.

l remember.

Look at Jared.

Lyla. Look how tiny Alejandro was.

One of the workers almost painted over that

while we were redecorating.

l had my knitting needle to his throat

when Donald pulled me off of him.

Yeah. And now they're all grown.

Yeah.

You were so wonderful to them.

Well, they're not officially my kids,

but, you know...

God, you look stunning.

Cut the crap, Bebes.

l look a decade older and so do you.

Said the one of us not wearing control tops.

Wait until you see Muffin. Oh, my God.

l heard she had work done.

Really, like, somebody said it was scary.

Well, let's just say

most of her face is now behind her ears.

And she's completely mental.

She's driving me crazy

about the details of the wedding,

which is ironic

because we're hosting it here.

- Right.

- Right?

And l'm catering it. Organic, of course.

Oh, God, l was just so terrified to see you.

Oh, don't be.

l mean, look, it was a long time ago.

So...

Yeah. Well, now that you're here,

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