The Big Noise Page #2

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You don't just walk

into places like this.

They can't hear you knocking.

Here, you talk into this.

- Hello.

- Oh, you've got to blow into it first.

Beware.

Disaster befalls all who enter

these dread portals.

- What did you say?

- I didn't say anything.

Why, I'm positive

I heard you say something.

- Maybe I was talking to myself.

- Well, shut up and come on.

Come on.

I'll ring.

- Why can't I ring?

- All right, go ahead and ring.

You never think I can do anything.

- Doesn't ring.

- Well, knock.

Come in.

When you knock,

you don't say, "Come in."

- The man inside says, "Come in."

- But I didn't knock.

What do you mean you didn't knock?

I distinctly heard you knock.

- l...

- Oh, get out of the way, I'll do it.

- See?

- Don't point, it's rude.

How do you do, sir?

I'm Mr. Hardy,

from the Jones Detective Agency...

...and this is my colleague, Mr. Laurel.

Hey.

Oh, yes, yes, certainly.

Come on in.

Thank you. Come, Stanley.

- Sorry.

- Thank you.

- What happened?

- Why, I tripped over the valise...

...coming through the door.

- What for?

Well, I couldn't get my foot...

Oh, never mind what for.

- Well, here we are.

- At your service.

I was just hanging a picture.

I'll explain your duties...

...to you later, gentlemen. Excuse me.

- Yes, sir.

Come in.

- My, what a beautiful picture.

- Yes, that cost a lot of money.

- It's a Van Dyck.

- A what?

Van Dyck.

You know what a Van Dyck is?

Oh, yeah, my uncle had one,

but he had to have it shaved off.

- You see it got...

- Shh.

- What?

- Van Dyck was a painter, not a beard.

By the way, what happened to you?

Oh, I had a slight accident

with some paint on our way over.

- I can't get it off.

- Oh, that's nothing.

I'll have that off for you in a jiffy.

- Stand over there, please.

- Yes, sir.

The Hartley Little-Gem Paint-Remover.

One of my many inventions.

I was getting it ready

to send to Washington.

Now, let's see, this knob. That's it.

- Now, don't be frightened.

- No.

Now, there, you'd hardly know

there had been a spot on it.

Gee, that's swell.

That's a wonderful machine.

- Yes, it works both ways.

- Is that so?

You know, necessity is the mo...

My Van Dyck.

Turn it off.

My Van Dyck.

Do you realize

you've ruined my beautiful picture?

The Height of Spring.

Oh, what am I going to do?

You could change the name on it.

You could call it The Depth of Winter.

- That would be a good...

- Mr. Hartley, just what are our duties?

- Come with me.

- Yes, sir.

Bring the bag.

This is my prize possession.

Gentlemen, you are looking

at what I consider...

...the most powerful explosive

in the world today.

- I call it the Big Noise.

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