The Big Lebowski Page #3

The inquisitor hauls the Dude's head out one last time and

flops him over so that he sits on the floor, back against

the toilet.

The Dude gropes back in the toilet with one hand.

Looming over him is a strapping blond man.

Beyond in the living room a young Chinese man unzips his fly

and walks over to a rug.

CHINESE MAN:

Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.

He starts peeing on the rug.

The Dude's hand comes out of the toilet bowl with his

sunglasses.

DUDE:

Oh, man. Don't do--

BLOND MAN:

You see what happens? You see what

happens, Lebowski?

The Dude puts on his dripping sunglasses.

DUDE:

Look, nobody calls me Lebowski. You

got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude,

man.

BLOND MAN:

Your name is Lebowski. Your wife is

Bunny.

DUDE:

Bunny? Look, moron.

He holds up his hands.

DUDE:

You see a wedding ring? Does this

place look like I'm f***ing married?

All my plants are dead!

The blond man stoops to unzip the satchel. He pulls out a

bowling ball and examines it in the manner of a superstitious

native.

BLOND MAN:

The f*** is this?

The Dude pats at his pockets, takes out a joint and lights

it.

DUDE:

Obviously you're not a golfer.

The blond man drops the ball which pulverizes more tile.

BLOND MAN:

Woo?

The Chinese man is zipping his fly.

WOO:

Yeah?

BLOND MAN:

Wasn't this guy supposed to be a

millionaire?

WOO:

Uh?

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