The Big Kahuna Page #2
Jesus Christ!
Bob, can you believe this?
-It looks okay to me.
-That's exactly my point. You don't know anything.
No offense, but how many of these
things have you been to?
-Just one.
-This one, right?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, that's what I thought.
Who knows, Phil?
Maybe we'll get lucky...
and everyone that walks through the door
tonight will be a first-timer like Bob.
Is there a problem?
No.
There's no problem.
Oh, catching up on your technical
reading there, Phil?
Mind your own business,
Larry.
I'm not condemning.
I'm just saying I noticed.
You should have seen the girl
that sat next to me on the plane.
-Pretty?
-I should say so. And built.
And... wearing
a business suit.
That's right. You like 'em
in business suits.
There's something about a woman
in a business suit that drives me wild.
It's as if they'rev all tied up
in this neat little package...
Just waiting for someone to come along
and pull the cord that sets everything free.
is my idea of art.
What about you, Bob? What kind of
woman's attire gets your motor running?
-I'm sure I couldn't tell you.
-No favorites, huh?
Uh, I try not
You try not?
I- I'm married.
Of course you're married. We're all
married. Even Phil was married at one time.
I'm just asking you in which direction
your tastes run.
I... I don't know.
Oh.
Let me, uh, ask you a question there, Bob,
seriously.
-What's that?
-Are you gay?
-Larry!
-What? I'm just asking.
He seems to be missing one of the fundamental
characteristics of the American male,
which I could understand if you were...
you know... but you're not.
Aren't you married?
I just see no reason to let my eyes
go wandering when God's...
given me a wonderful woman
to be my wife.
Oh, I see.
You're a spiritual man.
-That's a part of it.
-So do they blind you when you get saved?
Jesus said if you look at a woman with lust,
it's the same as committing adultery.
He did?
He must have never seen a woman in
a business suit. If He had, who knows?
We might have a different kind of religion,
one where lusting is a sacrament.
Hey! I thought you weren't interested
in my hors d'oeuvres.
I'm just tasting, Phil.
I'm not actually partaking.
I'm just gonna make sure
that nobody's gonna gag.
Well, don't eat
-You know why you're here, don't you, Bob?
-No. Not exactly.
Jesus Christ. No wonder this company
is spiralling into the sh*t can.
-You're here for cosmetic purposes.
-What do you mean?
You're here
to represent research.
Technical support.
The brains of the company.
-Me?
-Absolutely.
-But I don't have that much experience.
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"The Big Kahuna" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_big_kahuna_4051>.
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