The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Page #2

# Nothin' much to see

# No drinkin' allowed,

we get a nice quiet crowd

# Plain as it can be

# It's just a piddly, squattin'

old-time country place

# Nothin' too high-toned

# Just lots of goodwill

and maybe one small thrill

# But there's nothin' dirty goin' on

# Keep your language clean, girls

# Keep your bedrooms neat

# And don't hang around the town caf

and say hi on the street

# Mind your p's and q's and manners

# And you don't need no other tools

# Cos every girl that lives here

knows my special no-no rules

# Yeah, every girl that lives here

knows Miss Mona's no-no rules

- Ruby Rae, start 'em.

- # Beds are not to be wallowed in

# That's the kind of thing

that big fat lazy hogs do

- It don't make money. Beatrice?

- # And I won't tolerate

# No tyin' up my telephone

with other people's business

Eloise, honey?

# And please don't show us no tattoos,

no hearts and flowers on your thigh

It's downright tacky.

# Brands belong on cattle

# And that ain't what

we're sellin' at Miss Mona's

Do you catch my drift?

# I pay the food and the rent

and the utilities

# You keep your mind on

your work responsibilities

# Don't let your mouth

overload your capabilities

# And we can get along

Dawn?

# Any bad habits you come in with,

get rid of right now

# I can't stand no chewin' gum,

it looks just like a cow

# Anyone takin' sick leave

oughta be real sure they're sick

# And every time you hear that bell

# You better get here double-quick

# And as for pimps

# Pimps are somethin' you don't need

to get your daily business done

Are you listenin' good?

# Keep them leeches and bloodsuckers

off the back roads

# I know how to use a gun

and nobody messes with my girls

# And any questions you might have

about the way I run this place

# Don't gripe and whine behind my back

# Just tell me face-to-face,

I'm open-minded

# Say it all, then go upstairs and pack

# The door's thataway

# She pays the food and the rent

and the utilities

# We keep our mind on

our work responsibilities

# Don't let your mouth

overload your capabilities

# And we can get along

Well, howdy, boys. It's good to see you.

Nice to meet you.

Come on over here.

I'd like you to meet my girls.

# It's just a little-bitty

pissant country place

# Nothin' much to see

# No drinkin' allowed,

we get a nice quiet crowd

# Plain as it can be

# It's just a piddly, squattin'

old-time country place

# Nothin' too high-toned

# Just lots of goodwill

and maybe one small thrill

# But there's nothin' dirty goin' on

# It's just a little-bitty

pissant country place

# Nothin' much to see

# No drinkin' allowed,

we get a nice quiet crowd

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