The Beautician and the Beast Page #3

Synopsis: A beautician in America is mistakenly thought to be an academic teacher by a representative of an Eastern European dictator. She is invited to their country on that mistaken belief and is asked to be the tutor of the dictator's children. While there, she tries to Westernize the whole country.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Ken Kwapis
Production: Paramount Home Video
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.3
Rotten Tomatoes:
15%
PG
Year:
1997
105 min
613 Views


I'm sorry I'm late.

Please don't judge me by this.

It's so dark here,

which is great for atmosphere,

but it's hell for putting on liquid liner,

which I can put on in a cross-town bus.

But that wouldn't interest you,

because I am an educator.

No one cares how an educator looks.

What's it like out, 'cause I was thinking...

- Make her be quiet!

- I heard.

Joy Miller, since this is

your first time in my country,

I will make allowances for you.

Once!

I do not take lightly your being here.

My children are growing up

in a different world than me.

I believe, despite contrary opinions,

that they must learn to live within it.

You must help them face a new century

and the Western dignitaries

who will now be coming into our home.

So, in future, I expect you to be prompt,

efficient and dressed.

Is that clear?

Oh, no.

Good day.

Huh? Oh, my God.

Rule number one, kids. Never surprise

a New Yorker. Comprende?

Oh, my God, you don't speak English?

- I am Katrina. This is my brother Karl.

- Karl Pochenko.

Eldest son of His Excellency,

the President.

How do you do, Karl? Nice posture.

I look forward to learning about

your decadent ways.

Honey, we just met.

- What's your name?

- Masha.

Come out from behind there so I can see

more than just your gorgeous hair.

You're not like the other teacher.

She was ugly with missing teeth.

Her breath smelled like something died.

- Farting in her mouth.

- Oy!

- We've never met an American before.

- Never?

We don't want to be raped

by your mindless cultural imperialism.

Karl, you only get one chance

to make a first impression.

Oh, sweetie, why do you look so sad?

Let me see what's the matter.

Oh, honey, you shouldn't bite your nails.

You wanna grow a hand

in your stomach?

Miss Miller,

will we see you at breakfast?

Sure. Most important meal of the day.

What is this, exactly?

Blood sausage in clotted cream.

A delicacy.

- It must be in your honour.

- Oh.

Well, it looks delicious.

- Good morning, children.

- Good morning, Father.

- Miss Miller.

- Good morning, Mr President.

Your New York Times

is completely biased against me.

Don't blame me.

I haven't owned it for years!

- Won't you be joining us for breakfast?

- I can't. I'm very busy.

Some of the best memories of my father

were sitting around the breakfast table.

He would eat until he was so full that

he'd roll his undershirt over his stomach

and make his belly button talk.

He was a simple man.

- You wanna try?

- No.

All right, I'm sorry. We won't take up

any more of your time.

I am not having my belly button talk.

Isn't this nice?

Mr President, I am just so excited to be

teaching your children, I can't tell you.

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Todd Graff

Todd Graff (born October 22, 1959) is an American actor, writer and director, best known for his 2003 independent film Camp and his role as Alan "Hippy" Carnes in the 1989 science fiction film The Abyss. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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