The Bachelor Page #2

He always had excuses

for everything he did, didn't he?

Procreate!

Jimmie, have a look at this.

oh, yeah.

There we go.

That is your grandma's

engagement ring.

I only hope that your woman friend

has fat fingers.

Has she been examined...

by a qualified doctor?

Is she fertile?

We're both very healthy,

and I love her.

Love don't exist.

Here, take that.

There's only

the endocrine response.

And that...

only lasts five years, maximum...

according to the great scientists.

That's the reason

you should breed right now.

Steak?

What scientists?

Take that.

Read it.

As time goes on passing

and withers...

sex becomes rarer and rarer...

and rarer.

Finally, all you're left with

is this cold, chaste...

loveless shell called marriage...

and the incessant irritation

of fatherhood.

The bills keep mounting.

And if you don't believe me...

ask the next-door neighbor.

I tell you, Jimmie...

to sacrifice your happiness

for your descendants...

there's a term for that.

The human condition!

Stripes wins, I propose.

And solids?

I don't know.

Fake choking on a piece of steak.

For three weeks now

you been carrying that ring around...

staring at it, taking Anne

out to dinner, not proposing to her.

It's gotta end.

It's ten of.

Yeah, and the Starlight Room's

five minutes away.

The Starlight Room?

That's where you're taking Anne?

So?

Every human being on Earth knows there's

only one reason a single man under 50...

takes a woman

to the Starlight Room.

To pop the question.

Jimmie Shannon.

Just the man I'm looking for.

What do you say, Marco?

A word in your ear.

Talked to your grandfather

this morning.

oden Sports sent my office

a formal offer to buy the company.

I know. We're cutting

into their market share.

They wanna buy us out, steal our

client list and then close us down.

Shannon Billiards

is not for sale.

How about we continue this conversation

over some eight ball?

Market's up

and I got dollars to shed.

Sorry, Sid, but we're going

through kind of a crisis.

Jimmie's supposed to propose,

and he's lost his nerve.

Anne's a catch.

Who needs nerve?

Let me guess.

The grizzly bear thing.

You know, the manly sense that

you're master of all you survey...

like a grizzly bear.

Mustang.

Wolf.

The question is,

do you want to be married?

- I love Anne.

- Never mind love.

Imagine two different cities...

Husbandtown and Bachelorville.

Which would you want to live in?

Any guy's gonna choose Bachelorville.

Right?

Most men come to want

the ball and chain.

Me, I was like you.

I love freedom.

Which is why my marriage

is a miserable failure.

Roy, dry up.

Listen...

marriage is the most

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