The Babysitter Page #2

SO, UH...

WHEN DID YOU GO OUT WITH HER?

JACK, DON'T EVEN SWEAT IT.

IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

ONE DATE.

THE...MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS, UH,

WHAT'S A GUY LIKE YOU DOING ALONE ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?

YOU TWO ON THE ROCKS OR WHAT?

I TOLD YOU SHE'S BABYSITTING.

OH, COME ON!

I'M GOING TO TURN THIS OVER RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ANY ADVICE FROM ME, MAN,

BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL HER.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO. TUCKER'S RESIDENCE.

TELL HER A GOOD THING LIKE HER HAS GOT TO BE PASSED AROUND.

HELLO?

HI.

WE SORT OF THOUGHT WE'D DROP BY--

NO, NO...

JACK AND I WERE JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW,

TWO'S COMPANY...

THREE'S AN ORGY.

HUH?

OH, YOU TILTED, MAN.

YEAH. GUESS SO, MAN.

F***ING BELIEVE THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT, MARK? YOU'RE RIGHT.

I WOULDN'T TAKE ADVICE FROM SOMEBODY LIKE YOU.

SEE YA.

"ALAS, THE HEAVY DAY. WHY DO YOU WEEP?

"ALAS, THE HEAVY DAY. WHY DO YOU WEEP?

"AM I THE MOTIVE OF THESE TEARS, MILORD?

AM I...THE MOTIVE OF THESE TEARS, MILORD?"

HMM.

"OF HAPPILY YOU, MY FATHER, DO SUSPECT--

"OF HAPPILY YOU, MY FATHER, DO SUSPECT...

"AN INSTRUMENT OF THIS YOU'RE CALLING BACK.

LAY NOT BLAME ON ME IF YOU HAVE LOST HIM."

IF YOU HAVE LOST HIM.

HEY, HEY, JACK.

IT WAS LAST SUMMER.

WHAT?

WHEN I WENT OUT WITH HER. IT WAS LAST SUMMER.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO KNOW, RIGHT?

LISTEN, MARK,

IT'S BEEN GREAT HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU F*** OFF?

YOU KNOW, FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE.

OH, MAN!

O.K., SO THIS IS YOU--

"MARK, WHAT'S THE TIME?

"IT'S 6:
00.

HEY, F*** YOU."

JESUS. YOU ASK ME A QUESTION, RIGHT, AND I'M ANSWERING.

WHAT'S THE REAL STORY?

YOU IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL, HUH?

IS THAT IT?

YOU'RE ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE.

THAT'S COOL.

IT'S HARD TO KNOW IF YOU REALLY LOVE A GIRL

UNLESS YOU'VE F***ED HER.

WHY DON'T YOU CALM DOWN?

[SIREN]

SH*T. GO, GO, GO.

ARE YOU F***ING CRAZY?

OH, MAN,

I'M SORRY, MAN.

AM I THE GREATEST AT SAYING THE WRONG THING?

YEAH, YOU ARE.

THAT'S TWICE.

JACK, I'M SO SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I SHOULD JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE.

LET'S SEE. WHAT DID I DO WITH THAT?

BAM.

LOOK AT THAT FAT GUY.

LET'S BURN IT DOWN.

RELAX. NO ONE CAN SEE US.

OH, JACK, MAN,

COME ON.

THAT'S MY WAY OF SAYING I'M SORRY.

HERE IS TO A NIGHT...

OF ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES.

HEY, MAN,

WHAT THE F***?

JACK...

ALL I SAID WAS YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

I'M NOT GONNA CALL HER!

WHAT, ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE TUCKERS?

COME ON. THEY'RE ALREADY OVER AT MY HOUSE.

PARTY TIME.

[WHISTLING]

HONEY, COULD YOU PLEASE STOP WHISTLING THAT TUNE?

AND TRY NOT TO DRINK TOO MUCH TONIGHT, O.K.?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH.

HEY, DOLLY, HARRY, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

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