The Aristocrats Page #2

He says, "We call it the "Aristocrats. "

The joke "sucks. " You suck for having the idea | of putting this on a "documentary. "

I hate the "joke. "

A piece of sh*t stolen... pretend to be "humour. "

Although the premise is "funny. " | Let me "just... "

Let me backtrack just a "bit. "

Well, it's a perfectly crafted "joke. "

A two-word punch "line. "

And since the middle is open | you can do anything with "it. "

It's like a jazz "theme. " There's the basic melody | but anybody can improvise on "it. "

And I cannot remember for the life of me, | what the details of the act "were. "

I just knew as I was hearing it | you could do what you want with "it. "

As long as you got to the, | "What do you call the act?" "The "Aristocrats. "

You just wanna shock the people

so when you come back, the juxtaposition | of their name becomes the "laugh. "

It's filled with "vulgarity. "

Not kind of vulgar, "it's... " it's "revolting. "

It's disgusting, and then the punch "line. "

And then the punch line is sort of "uplifting. "

The more vulgar it is, | the more ironic becomes the punch "line. "

The more grotesqueries, the better of "it. "

That's the craft, | the art is how you make that "turn. "

That's the thing you can't "bottle. " | That's a performance "thing. "

Guy goes into the agent's office and he says,

"I've got an act for "you. " Wait till you hear "this. " | "Tell me a little about"it. "What's the act?"

He says, "My wife and I come out on "stage. "

I've taken a lot of medicine,

prior to the "appearance. "

And I've eaten a lot of cabbages and "things. "

She lies down on the stage,

I squat over her, I pull down my "pants. "

And I sh*t in her mouth, it's mostly "liquid. " | It's like a diarrhoeic "thing. "

I try to include corn and things that will not | break down in the digestive "system. "

Peanuts, of "course. "

I try to get a lot of solid objects | so that's there's a little action "too. "

It's not just a stream of brown "liquid. "

And it all goes "into... " | I can hit her mouth pretty "well. "

I do have one polyp - | I have a large, kind of a haemorrhoidal polyp

that sometimes throws my aim off | and I have "to... "

It's kind of like Kentucky windage, | but I usually get "it. "

I can hear whether it's hitting | the hollow area of her "throat. "

So I get as much as I can in there | and then she gargles with "it. "

You hear the "gargling. " She gargles and "gargles. "

And then she swallows "it. And... "

we're off- it's about five minutes "total. "

The guy says, "Oh. " What do you call the act?"

"The "Aristocrats. "

I was making that up - I guess you could "tell. "

The fun of it is where you improvise | on the grossness,

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