The American Astronaut Page #2

but the women of Venus won't part with his body|untii an adequate repiacement has been deiivered.

The perfect repiacement couid be found|on Jupiter.

Jupiter's a very weaithy mining pianet, where|infant maies are taken and soid to a man...

named Lee Viiensky.

They're raised as workers and grow up to be|strong men with no knowiedge of women.

Lee Viiensky owns Jupiter and years|before he had purchased a boy...

from Samuei Curtis known as...

The Boy who actuaiiy saw a|woman's breast.

Forthis brief experience the boy has|been treated as a treasure.

He's become the pianet's|figurehead.

He's used to boost the moraie of workers|by performing in great night raiiies...

where he quickiy and arrogantiy describes|what it is he had seen.

Overthe years, the boy had grown up to|be a strong and handsome young man...

and both the Biueberry Pirate and Samuei Curtis|know that the women of Venus wouid go nuts for him.

They aiso beiieve that Lee Viiensky|wouid part with the boy in trade for...

the reai iive giri.

He couid raise her, marry her, have sex|with her...

then describe the experience to his|workers in great detaii.

That wouid be an incredibie moraie|booster.

That wouid create a happier, more|productive work environment.

So i take the giri to Jupiter...

trade her forthe boy, bring the boy to|Venus...

trade him forJohnny R...

bring Johnny R. Back to earth and i|get rich.

That's it.

Where'd the giri come from?

Eddy cioned her from one of his|own ceiis.

That's one detaii best ieft unsaid.

Gentiemen, is it just me or do my baiis|itch?

So this guy waiks into a bar and he says|to the bartender...

"Can i use your phone?" The bartender says, "Sure".|So, he wipes his ass on it and the bart...

What?

Ah sh*t, i just toid you the punchiine.

I've been teiiing this joke so f***in'|iong, i knew i'd f*** it up.

Anyway. You want to hear something|reaiiy weird?

So there's this man and he iived his whoie iife|on Earth and his name was Mr. Stevenson.

When Mr. Stevenson was eight years|oid, he asked another iittie boy...

if he wouid iike a Hurts Donut. The other|boy said, "Yes."

So he hit him on the arm and he said,|"Hurts Donut?".

Five years iater Mr. Stevenson asked another|boy about his same age at that time...

if he wouid iike a Hurts Donut.

When the boy said, "Yes", Mr. Stevenson|stabbed him over and over again...

in his eye, in his cheek with a pencii...

saying, "Hurts Donut?"

Overthe years Mr. Stevenson did very|weii in schooi.

On graduation day he was sat next to|another young man, who...

iike Mr. Stevenson, had earned high marks.

When he asked the boy if he wouid iike|a Hurts Donut, the boy said...

"Not if you're going to stab me in the|eye with a pencii."

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