The African Queen Page #4

Yes, a kind of a fixer, jack of all trades

and master of none, like they say.

- Could you make a torpedo?

- How's that, miss?

- Could you make a torpedo?

- A torpedo?

Ask me to make a dreadnought,

and do it up right.

A torpedo, miss...

You don't really know

what you're asking.

You see, there ain't nothing so

complicated as the insides of a torpedo.

It's got gyroscopes, compressed

air chambers, compensating...

But all those things,

those gyroscopes and things,

- they're only to make it go, aren't they?

- Yeah.

Yeah, go and hit what it's aimed at.

Well, we've got the African Queen.

How's that, miss?

If we were to fill those cylinders

with that blasting gelatin

and then fix them so that

they would stick out

over the end of the boat,

and then run the boat

against the side of a ship,

they would go off,

just like a torpedo, wouldn't they?

Yeah, yeah, if they had detonators

in the ends.

We could... What do you call it?

Get a good head of steam up,

and then point the launch toward a ship,

and just before she hits,

we could dive off, couldn't we?

Sure, miss, sure. Absolutely.

There's only one little thing wrong

with your idea.

- There ain't nothing to torpedo.

- Yes, there is.

- There's what?

- Something to torpedo.

- What's that?

- The Louisa.

The Louisa? Now, don't talk silly, miss.

You can't do that. Honest, you can't.

I told you before,

we can't get down the Ulanga.

- Spengler did.

- In a canoe, miss...

- lf a German did it, we can, too.

- Not in no launch.

How do you know? You never tried it.

I never tried shooting myself

in the head, neither.

The trouble with you, miss, is you...

You don't know anything about boats.

In other words,

you are refusing to help your country

in her hour of need, Mr. Allnut?

Well, I wouldn't put it that way.

Just how would you put it, Mr. Allnut?

All right, miss, have it your own way,

but don't blame me for what happens.

Very well, then. Let's get started.

- What, now, miss?

- Yes, now.

There ain't two hours

of daylight left, miss.

We can go a long way

in two hours, Mr. Allnut.

I'll have to get

the old kettle to boiling and...

Well, do so, Mr. Allnut.

"Could you make a torpedo?

"Well, do so, Mr. Allnut."

A little to starboard, miss. That's right.

Hey, you're doing fine, miss.

It's really quite easy, isn't it, Mr. Allnut?

- Well, you gotta learn to read the river.

- Read the river?

Yeah. You see that

long thing over there,

looks kind of like a "V"?

That means a snag.

Now, this choppy water over here,

that means shallow.

The Queen don't draw much water,

so we can go right over them.

Most boats would

get their bottoms tore up.

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