The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: The Bus from Blooperville Page #4

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Think I'll let you get all the attention?

No chance.

Come on girls,

lets go shopping.

For Christ's sake...

I love these hats.

You have got to be kidding.

Welcome to Mario's Palace.

Come in.

What can I do for you?

Would you like a room Madame?

Subtle.

Oh tackorama!

Who the hell does all the

painting around here?

Someone with no arms or right foot

by the look of it.

For goodness sake,

get down off that crucifix.

Someone needs the wood.

What have we here?

What fun.

Baby bottles of booze.

Gather round girls,

I'll show you a trick.

You drink the gin...

Fill the bottle up with water

and put it back in the fridge.

Va t'em vous.

What about the scotch?

That's where the complimentary tea bags

come in handy.

- Very clever.

- Cheers girls.

And congratualtions Mitzi darling.

You did it.

One lap of the Broken Hill

main drag in drag!

That'll teach you to take on the

Fairmont Boys School snap champion.

Here's to getting

off the f***ing bus.

Chookers!

So, all dolled up

and nowhere to go.

Well I sure as sh*t have no intention

of sitting here all evening.

I'm in.

Oh alright.

Here's hoping they have

a decent Cocktail Bar.

Hello.

Could I please have a Stoli and tonic,

a bloody Mary

and a lime Daiquiri please?

Well, look what the cat dragged in!

What do we've got here?

A couple of show girls eh?

Where did you ladies

come in from?

Uranus?

Could I please have a...?

No! You can't have nothing!

We got nothing here

for people like you. Nothing!

Now listen here you mullet.

Why don't you just light your tampon

and blow your box apart,

because it's the only bang

you're ever going to get sweetheart.

Now what could be more soothing

than coming home after

a hard day down the mine

to the woman in us all.

Now don't send any money...

Sh*t,

all I can see are

female impersonators.

This has got to be a first.

Nobody has ever out drunk old Shirl before.

Where did you learn to

throw them back like that?

That's our girl Bernadette.

I just knew that stumbling around the pub circuit

with Les Girls for 200 years

must have taught her something.

- You're a bloody marvel Bernie.

- Bernadette please.

- What was that?

- My name isn't Bernie.

She said her name isn't Bernie...

It's Ralph.

Come on.

What did you call me?

What did you call me what?

What did you call me

back there, in the bar?

Sorry. Ralph.

You f***ing idiot!

Oh, the f***!

Don't touch me!

You f***ing...

Only my f***ing head.

The lump on your head

is bigger than your prick.

Why don't you f*** off

you stupid old b*tch?

Oh, stop it little f*ggot.

- ???

- If your mouth were as big as your dick

you wouldn't have any problem.

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