The Actress

---

by then

i should have the chance

by fiddling to entrance

and fill with ardor

of romance

the prettiest girls

in france

and while i'd play

my yearning eyes

would say

my yearning eyes would say

to you, beautiful lady

i raise my eyes

my heart,

beautiful lady

to your heart sighs

come, come,

beautiful lady

to paradise

ere the sweet,

sweet waltz dream dies

fly, fly, beautiful lady

on light, bright wings

while the rapture of music

around us swings

dream, dream

dream and forget

care, pain, useless regret

come, come,

beautiful lady

in my arms sing

Don't wiggle.

Punk,

what possesses you?

You've been eating

that fern again, haven't you?

Oh, you bad cat.

Go on, now, punk.

Go on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Don't let punk up,

clinton.

Come on, punk.

Go on down there.

What kind of

haberdashery's all that?

I hate jones

for a name.

Jones is a good name.

Easy to remember,

short to write.

It's too plain.

Papa, you think our name

is really jones?

I wish you were

a changeling, papa,

and our name was

something else.

Don't beorrying

about being

no changeling.

Just aim to amount

to something.

Won't matter

whether your name

is jones or finnegan

or andrew j. Poopaw.

Good wine

needs no bush.

Now, look, get that cat

off the register.

I don't want that hot air

coming up through his fur,

giving me back

my old malaria.

Get him off there!

Sitting around there,

walling up

his old germs.

Punk's clean and healthy

and hasn't any germs.

What good's

a cat anyhow?

How about

throwing him away?

Clinton, you just like

to hear yourself talk.

You don't fool

even punk.

I wish we could

have a dog.

A cat's

so tacky-looking.

Dan weymouth thinks

he's a bright cat,

and he loves you,

clinton.

Who? Dan weymouth?

Oh, clinton,

punk, of course.

Punk loves you.

And well he might

because you've

taught that cat

every blessed thing

he knows.

Come on. Come on.

Jump over there.

Jump.

Loves me

in a pig's patootie.

That's not nice.

Papa, everyone else

has got one,

so why can't we

have a telephone?

Wouldn't have one

if you gave it to me

as a gift.

You'd have felt awful

that day

president cleveland died

if you couldn't have

called up mrs. Litchfield

to tell mama to hang

our flag at half-mast.

How often

do you think

that occasion's

going to arise?

I wish our name

was cleveland.

There's a girl goes

to quincy mansion school

called fentress

serene kerlin.

Queen of the hawaiian

islands' name

is liliuokalani.

I don't know what it

has to do with anything.

All right. Get down.

Oh, mama,

you haven't...

clinton, do you think

you could get the furnace

to give out

a little more heat?

It ain't

the furnace.

It's the coal.

Order a ton

of half nut

and half egg,

and what

do you get?

Ton full

of clinkers.

About

as much heat

as a whale's

hind fin.

I had to get your

father to go do that

so i could tell you

about this skirt.

It's all wrong, mama.

Hazel dawn...

hazel dawn can wear

her skirts

any way she feels

called to,

but i'll not have

you wear any skirt

like that actressy

picture you showed me.

Hazel dawn doesn't live in

wollaston, please remember.

But slit skirts

are...

Are all the rage!

Well, let them be,

but i'll not have you

walk around wollaston...

In a skirt split halfway up

past all decency.

Oh, mama!

Want people to think

you live in a harem?

But it's how

the dress has to be.

It has to, mama.

It's what gives it

that frenchy touch.

All you'd have to do is

walk up newport avenue

once in that dress

and everyone

in wollaston would know

you'd all at once decided

to be an actress.

It doesn't cost

any more

to have it stylish,

does it?

Ruth, do you or do you not

want your father

to know you want

to be an actress?

No.

All right.

Then don't go

appearing before him

in a hobble skirt

with a slit.

You'll not only look

like an actress.

You'll look

downright fast.

If it wasn't

for you and papa,

i'd go in boston and be

fast right this minute.

How can you say

such a thing?

You go in the parlor

and cool off.

Well, if i do...

Will you talk

to papa some more

about having

a telephone?

Go put on

your other dress.

If the furnace hasn't

made him mad, i will.

Thermometer

says 4 above.

Of course,

it ain't reliable.

Nobody's thermometer is.

It's warmer

in here already.

The register's

letting out real heat.

Papa, if you could choose

any telephone number,

what would you choose?

123-skidoo.

When people telephone us,

it's free.

And rest assured,

clinton,

you personally wouldn't

have to have

a thing to do with it.

It could just be

ruth's and mine.

It can be ruth's and naomi's

for all i care,

as long as i don't

have to pay for it.

Got your grocery list

ready for purse's?

Clinton, you want

to do that now?

Might as well.

Get it over with.

What did

i do with...

careful! Don't burn

the shack down, now,

jiggling that lamp.

I won't,

clinton.

A telephone would

be more convenient

to call up

the fire station.

My unity got caught

in the top...

my mental science

magazine.

I wish you'd

read it, clinton.

It helps me

a good deal.

What's this thing?

Oh, my library

withdrawal card

to keep

my place with.

Mental science is

awful hard to follow

if you ever lose

your place.

Gracious, breakfast

will be upon us,

and i haven't mixed

my buckwheat batter.

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