The Absent Minded Professor Page #2

A breakthrough, Charlie!

Discovered. Substance "X."

In appearance, subscribes

to classical requirements

of metastable compound,

but whose behavior

is distinctly nonclassical.

Hypothesis. The application

of an external force

triggers a molecular change,

liberating energy

of a type previously unknown.

I suppose you think

these are just rubber balls.

Or maybe a flying rubber ball.

But you know what

this really is?

Of course you don't.

We just discovered it.

We've got to give it a name.

Let's see.

Flying rubber.

Flying rubber.

Flubber?

All right.

Substance "X."

We dub thee "Flubber."

If Flubber's going

to be of any use,

we've got to control it, right?

So, you take an ordinary

radioactive isotope.

Now a sliding shutter

to let the right amount

of gamma rays through

to bombard the Flubber.

Now, we put it under here

so that we can bombard

the Flubber with gamma rays

to trigger

the molecular change.

Which is more scientific

than kicking it

or bouncing it around the room.

All right.

Here we go.

Eureka!

It works.

Perfect control.

Now we ease off

on the gamma rays.

And back to Earth.

Light as a daisy.

[ Burbling continues ]

Just as I thought.

Just as I thought, Charlie.

Weight makes

absolutely no difference.

Just shoot up

a few extra gamma rays.

Isn't that wonderful,

Charlie?

Professor!

Are you still here?

What about the wedding?

I can still make it.

It's 5 minutes to 8:00.

Yes, 5 minutes to 8:00.

In the morning.

In the morning?

No.

No, I didn't do it again.

I got to go and see Betsy

and tell her what happened.

I know what you're thinking.

But don't you worry.

Everything's gonna be all right.

When I tell Betsy what I've

done, she's gonna be happy.

Oh. Mrs. Chatsworth.

Don't you tell a soul,

but I've discovered Flubber.

That poor, poor girl.

DAGGETT:
Are you sure

it was wise to come in today?

I'm perfectly all right.

Mr. Alonzo Hawk, president of

the Auld Lang Syne loan company,

et cetera, et cetera.

My dear Mr. Hawk...

During the past few days,

I have been disturbed by rumors

that you plan to take our campus

and construct

a housing tract thereon.

Oh, surely he wouldn't.

Not even Mr. Hawk.

Let's hope not, my dear.

The situation requires

delicate handling.

But he's an alumnus.

My dear girl,

our esteemed alumnus

made an extremely large loan

to the college.

That loan is overdue,

and Mr. Hawk has us,

if you'll forgive a pertinent

expression, over a barrel.

However, my dear Mr. Hawk,

I am quite confident

that I can demonstrate

how an extension of your loan

would be in the best interest

to all of us.

I'd like to suggest a meeting

at the earliest opportunity

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