The 40-Year-Old Virgin Page #2

Synopsis: Andy at the age of 40 still hasn't had sex. He lets his secret slip at a poker game with his buds from work. After the revealing all his friends are on a mission to help get him laid. Along the way Andy meets a nice mom, Trish, and they fall head over heels for each other.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Judd Apatow
Production: Universal Pictures
  10 wins & 19 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.1
Metacritic:
73
Rotten Tomatoes:
85%
R
Year:
2005
116 min
$109,243,478
Website
5,367 Views


end up a lampshade...

in some creepy apartment,

that's what I'm saying.

I don't really see

any other options.

Andy. My man.

You got any plans

later on tonight?

Why, do we have to unload

the Sony truck?

No, the guys

are getting together,

we're playing some poker...

thought, you know,

you'd wanna play.

With you guys?

Yeah, sure.

That would be cool.

You know how to play, right?

Yeah, I play online sometimes.

We're gonna play

in the store.

Great.

Are we allowed

to do that?

Absolutely not.

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, so I'm gonna

go tell Paula.

I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding.

That sounds great. Cool,

I'll see you guys tonight.

Okay.

All right.

[clattering]

Oops.

I almost feel guilty.

No, you don't.

Going down!

Going down!

Dumbass.

And a full house.

Oh, my dukes!

What?

How much f***ing online poker

do you play, dawg?

For like an hour or two

a night, when I'm not

playing Halo.

Why did you invite this guy?

He's a f***ing ringer, man.

This is hog sh*t.

You, you're a f***ing a**hole

to tell me to come here.

You tell me he was a nice guy,

didn't you?

Well, f*** you people,

and f*** you, you and you...

f*** and kiss my big brown

f***ing ass, okay?

(Jay)

I'm gonna see you tomorrow.

Peace.

All right, man.

(Mooj)

F*** a goat.

[all laughing]

Good night.

I love that guy.

Dude, you totally...

Oh, sh*t, I gotta go. Damn.

About to go see Ellen

in a little bit.

Going now?

Late-night action, huh?

Dude, you know

how it goes.

Does your girlfriend know

about all these

late-night visits?

It's like an unspoken

agreement. Yeah.

It's like a completely

and utterly unspoken

agreement.

If you knew her, if you knew

who I was dealing with...

you wouldn't be

saying this sh*t.

There's nothing you can't do

with this woman...

straight up and down.

I've done

every single thing...

I could possibly create.

I've literally lubed up...

and made love to the arches

of her feet. All right.

Wow!

(Jay)

Yeah.

Foot f***!

That's sick, man.

Wow.

That is not sick.

I will give you sick.

Oh, sh*t.

I was sleeping with a woman

recently, she had the...

Her tits were unbelievable.

Oh, man, I love titties.

And so we're doing it

and I'm about to finish...

and her dog starts

licking my ass.

I swear to God, I have

to decide, do I finish

or do I stop the dog?

I know your nasty ass.

He finished.

I finished.

And then I stole the dog.

No, I didn't, but...

You know, sometimes,

Amy and I would make love...

till it was almost like

we weren't two people...

but we were two spirits

or something.

Our souls were

connected in this way,

I can't describe it.

Time stood still.

It was like we were

sharing the same heart.

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote

Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow (; born December 6, 1967) is an American producer, writer, director, actor and stand-up comedian. He is the founder of Apatow Productions, through which he produced and developed the television series Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Girls, Love, and Crashing and directed the films The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Knocked Up (2007), Funny People (2009), This Is 40 (2012), and Trainwreck (2015). Apatow's work has won numerous awards including a Primetime Emmy Award, a Hollywood Comedy Award, and an AFI Award for Bridesmaids (2011). His films have also been nominated for Grammy Awards, PGA Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and Academy Awards.His producing credits include Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Superbad (2007), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Pineapple Express (2008), Get Him to the Greek (2010), Bridesmaids (2011), The Five-Year Engagement (2012), Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013), Begin Again (2014), Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016), and The Big Sick (2017). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_40-year-old_virgin_1719>.

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