That's Carry On Page #4

- Watch your hands...

- Miss Allcock!

...or I'll flatten you out like a carpet,

you slanderous cat!

( Groans )

Ooh! I'll bet that hurt.

But the gang always took a

lot of stick.

- Eh?

- Stick!

Oh, yes. That, too.

I had a big stick once.

It was so enormous,

I had to hide it down my trousers.

Is that why you walked so funny

in Carry on Constable?

Just a moment. Could you possibly direct

me to the police station?

Certainly.

Er, just cross over and it's up

there on the left.

Hello.

Hello, Gorse.

Sorry I'm late, Sergeant,

but I couldn't leave home without

bringing something bright and gay

for the poor indisposed constables.

So... it was off to my greenhouse

and with a little snip here,

a little snip there... Snip, snip!

And here we are, with my love.

Ooh! What have I said?

With my very best floral greetings.

Thank you.

And now you must all meet Bobby,

my budgie.

Say hello, Bobby.

Hello, Bobby.

Isn't he the greatest thing?

I just couldn't leave him behind.

Yes, well, Gorse will be working full time with us

as from today, on account of this flu trouble.

You'll all sleep together.

Charmed, I'm sure.

- All ready, then?

- Yes, come on. Turn it on!

Oh, I'm frightfully sorry. I remember now.

- It only comes out hot at certain times.

- You maniac!

Let's get out of here.

Ooh! Aah!

Ooh! Aah! Ooh!

( Woman screams )

Gentlemen, really!

Ooh! Aah!

It's disgraceful!

Well, you did ask for a cell

with a southern exposure.

Sergeant Wilkins sent me, sir.

Said you wanted a constable.

Yes. I've finished with those. Burn them.

Sir.

Potter!

- What?

- Not those!

- You told me to, sir.

- They're my consolidating notes!

Well, get water. Don't panic.

Don't panic.

Stand clear, sir.

Potter!

- ( Barks excitedly )

- Heel, heel.

Good dog! Good dog!

( Barks )

I'm frightfully sorry...

Sir!

Let me help you out.

Whoa! Aah!

Oh, what a couple of wets.

Fancy offering a hand to your

superior officer.

That's crawling.

- Wouldn't you give anyone a hand?

- Certainly not.

Not unless it was someone

vastly superior to myself.

Then I'd Carry On Regardless.

Which way? This way? That way?

Oh, down here? All right.

Come along.

Go for a nice walk, shall we?

Come along, then. Walk nicely.

You're not bring that thing on here,

and that's final.

But he's tired of walking, and beside,

I want to give him a proper outing.

The best way to see London

is from the top of a bus.

Not from the top of this one.

Great hairy thing!

- I am not. I...

- Hold tight!

I've a good mind to report you to

the RSPCA. Cheeky monkey!

No offence.

Yes, the British Transport Commission

should hear about this!

Taxi! Taxi!

Can you take us to...

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