Thank You For Smoking Page #3

You can write whatever you want.

Okay.

Write about...

write about America's

amazing ability

to make profit by breaking down

trading tariffs

and bringing American jobs

to Third World countries.

Or how good we are

at executing felons.

They're all correct answers.

I can do that?

See, Joey, that's the beauty

of argument.

'Cause if you argue correctly,

you're never wrong.

Dad, if I finish

this essay within an hour,

can we stay up all night?

That's a negotiation,

not an argument.

Well, Conway, see you made it.

Yeah, I guess that little

voice was wrong.

I feel better.

I feel a lot better, too.

As a matter of fact, I never

felt so good in my life.

How about a cigarette?

Is he...?

Yeah.

Hey.

Nick, you still own a watch, don't you?

Jill, I can't help feeling

Joey's getting the wrong idea

about his dad.

It would be great if I could spend

a little more time with him,

you know?

To give him a fair

and balanced perspective.

Nick, you had plenty

of time for that.

Now you're his weekend guardian.

Besides, he has Brad.

He still needs his father.

Nick.

You have a second?

Sure, Brad.

Nick, your job

and everything aside,

I hope you understand

that secondhand smoke's

a real killer.

What are you talking about?

I just hope you're providing

a smoke-free environment

for Joey, that's all I'm saying.

Brad, I'm his father.

You're the guy f***ing his mom.

That was unnecessary.

Thank you all.

Thank you all for coming.

Tobacco is winning the war.

The war against our children.

They like to use cartoons

and symbols to hook our kids.

Well, now we have

a symbol of our own.

Doctor.

It is my hope that

within the year

every cigarette package

sold in America

will carry this symbol.

Perhaps then, cigarettes

will finally be labeled

appropriately as poison.

I will be holding

a congressional hearing

to discuss the inclusion

of the skull and crossbones

in the next two weeks.

As usual, I extend

an open invitation

to big tobacco.

Perhaps this time they will

grace us with their presence.

And their answers.

Thank you very much.

People, what is going on out there?

I look down this table,

all I see are white flags.

Our numbers are down

all across the board.

Teen smoking-

our bread and butter,

is falling like a sh*t from heaven.

We don't sell Tic Tacs,

for Christ's sake.

We sell cigarettes.

And they're cool and available

and addictive.

The job is almost done for us.

This environmentalist

is challenging us.

We have to have an answer.

I'm asking you,

when this cocksucker puts

Captain Hook on our products,

what the f*** are we going to do?

- BR.

- Yeah, Nick.

If I may.

In 1910,

the U.S. was producing

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