Terror Train Page #2

You know that? You're my|best friend. You know that?

I am gonna miss you like crazy.

Oh! Oh, no.

I'm just an easy cry, that's all.

I can't let Doc see me like this.

Where's the girls' room on|this boat anyway? Hey, you.

Hmm? We're always gonna be friends.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi, Prez. Hey, Pet, how you doin'?

Have you guys seen Eddie around? Ed?

Check the car back|there. It's open. Okay.

She still runnin' hot on you? Nope.

Cooled down the grade.

She's really beautiful, that old engine.

They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Thank God for little favors.

You're gonna see a train on the cover|of Time magazine one of these days...

and I'm gonna be in|that cab in the picture.

And I'll be up in the Concorde,|and you'll be on welfare.

You're diggin'your own grave|with that shovel career-wise.

What's the price of gas right now?

Pretty soon, the only way you'll|get that beer can someplace...

is you load it on a flatcar.

Guess who'll be driving the train?

You can cook, you can take|a shower, you can watch TV...

and, by God, you can hang|a left if you feel like it.

That poor, deluded boy.

It's a rotten crowd. Listen to 'em.

Well, it beats a|six-year-old's birthday party.

I have to have it quiet|when I do my illusions.

You know, it pays better too.

Hey, I thought you said you'd|played frat parties before.

They're not gonna|watch. Oh, they'll watch.

Go out and do some close-up magic.

Warm 'em up. I'm not ready.

Okay, here we go!|Stimulation for the nation.

Hey, host lounge for seniors only.!

Get out.! What do you think|this is? Come on. Seniors only.

We are gonna be remembered|forever for this one.

Happy Hog Night, children. Hog Night?

Hog Night! That's right. That's|what they used to call it.

Big bonfire, and all the|pledges had to get laid.

It's true. They had to abolish|it. Something happened one year...

and they had to kick a whole bunch of guys|out of school. Well, almost kicked out.

Christ, did we do that?

You're the guys? Oh, no, it wasn't us.

It must've been somebody else.

Look, it was supposed to be a simple joke,|and it sort of got out of control one year.

Just forget about it. You|wanna know what really happened?

Yeah! Will you just drop it?

We were freshmen. It's|Christmas vacation.

I got a job at the medical|center, practically a janitor.

So I go into this lab one|night. It's unlocked...

and there's this lady there... poor|soul... who'd just fallen apart.

Yeah, literally.

Now, I promised these dorks I was gonna|come up with something truly special.

Yeah, really special.|Put a kid in the hospital.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I|ruin your punch line?

You tell them. You were there, remember?

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