Terror Train

Happy New Year!

Sigma, Phi, Omega, hey!|Sigma, Phi, Omega, hey!

Sigma, Phi, Omega, hey!|Sigma, Phi, Omega, heeeeeeey!

Hey, there she is now.

Will you tell me what|she sees in you, please?

Can you figure this one out, Ed?

I mean, now, this guy's got some luck.

Women are strange, Doctor.

Very strange. Right, Ed. Sensitive.

He's probably very sensitive. Chicks|go for the sensitive fellows, you know.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't|mind going in your place.

Yeah, you would,|wouldn't you, you devil?

You want him to fill in|for ya? Huh? Offensive.

This is true love, old|man. Touch, Jackson.

Look, Alana's nice. Confused, but nice.

Hey, there she goes.

Now, what do you say, huh? Huh?

You trust me? Okay. We're|gonna take good care of you.

Come on. Let's go.

Don't worry.

What are you laughing at? Come on!

You're gonna love it. Give me that.|You're gonna need both your hands free.

You're gonna be wearing that beanie|all year if you don't get laid tonight.

Laid, sir? Me, sir?

Okay. Bare tit. See what you can do.

Sorry. After you get laid.

Still wearing your beanie I see, huh?

Well, happy New Year anyway,|buddy. Hey, same to you, Doc.

Is that real? Is the pope Catholic?

I don't know what you're gonna|do when we get to med school.

I'm losing my nerve. I|don't even know this guy.

Mitchy! You look adorable!

I feel like an idiot.|You can't chicken out now.

Why am I doing this? Because you're|the best bait we got around here, honey.

Come on. It'll be fun. Fun?

Oh, my God. Look at this place!

I know.

Who is that? I don't know.

Some friend of Doc's.|Anyway, you know what to do.

Okay? Yeah, but I don't like it.

Go get her, tiger. Come|on, Kenny. Go for it.!

Go on.! Mitchy.!

Don't be afraid, Kenny.

Hey, what are you doing? Mitchy!

Now, look, you really|want her, right? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Go ahead.

We'll be down here if|you need us. All right?

Alana? Hello, Kenny.

Don't be shy. This is my first time too.

Kiss me, Kenny.

Kiss me.

Kiss me.

Yes, it's the opportunity|of a lifetime, my boy!

One more. Hold it. Now!

Ready? Yes!

There you go.

A train!

Well, you wouldn't let me buy you a|graduation present, so I got you this instead.

I love you.

Has anyone seen my girlfriend?|She's the one with the big caboose!

You gonna let him get|away with this? No way!

Hey! Now, this is what I call a party!

L-I'd like to propose|a toast. Ridiculous!

That's not toast, my good man. Shut up!

It's a real honor hosting with you guys.

I mean that. Hey, same here.

My last big college party.|But it's gonna be the best!

Hey! To four really great years.

Oh, yeah! Really.

Let's get the goodies. Come on.|I'll see you later on the train.

Oh, thanks. Are you|guys medical students?

Well, premed. Here's your date, Ed.

Listen, thank you very much. Would you|like a joint? Yeah, I wouldn't mind one.

Go ahead, help yourself. Oh, my God.

Thank you very much, boys. You're|really a lot of fun. Hey, Doc, give me.

Lot of fun. Come on. Let's|get this thing into gear.

All right!

Hey, Donnelly. Take a look at this.

My goodness gracious!

Happy New Year!

Goodies for everybody!

Mr. Conductor! Yeah?

Did you say "all aboard"?|That's ridiculous!

They can't be bored.|I haven't even started.

Hey, Fred, forget it.

She's not your type.|Think of the children!

Come on, baby. Open your eyes.

Come on. Look at me. Just|my luck. She's a lesbian.

Wait a sec. I've got an idea. Let's play|charades, and my word will be "orgy."

Wait, wait, wait! I|think she sprung a leak.

Either that, or she's hissing me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Here, let me give you a hand with that.

Thanks a lot.

You the slicker of this|outfit? I try to be.

Extraordinaire! Hey, fella!

Did you make my date disappear?

Come on. Let's check this train|out. No, I've gotta find Pet...

before I forget what she looks like.

You may have some weather, but the|fella who came through at 6... 00...

said the track was clear.

Try and see they don't tear it apart.

With a party like that, I'm always|afraid some kid's gonna hurt himself.

Maggie, I wish to hell they'd|put a radio on that train.

What if one of those kids|got drunk and fell off?

I've been talkin' on that for two years.

Belknap always puts the kibosh on it.

He says, "We ain't Amtrak.

We'rejust a little|old excursion train. "

He oughta be here tonight.

Be like ridin'herd on a flea circus.

Are you sure you won't|go with us, Maggie?

With a bunch like|that? Not on your life.

All right. I'll see you tomorrow.

So long. So long.

You folks ready for|the time of your life?

You won't be disappointed, I promise.

All aboard!

Hey, look at Ed!

Fantastic!

Fabulous blood! Hey, did|you see Ed? Pretty good, eh?

Way to go, Eduardo!

I don't know. I think|the bar car's up this way.

Anybody home?

Hi. Is this the sink?

Yeah. Looks like a bedpan.

I think it is.|Congratulations, by the way.

Thank you. And lots of luck, for sure.

Hiya, Mitchy. Hi. How's it goin'?

My roommate's graduating early too.

Maybe then Mitchy and|I can room together.

You're gonna stick me with that?

What's wrong? Bunnies|are cute. Oh, thanks.

Hey, come on. You know I have to work before|school starts. It's gonna be real expensive.

Sh*t. You'll get a|scholarship. You always do.

Well, I don't have one yet.|Marry Mo and you won't need one.

Have you been talkin' to him again?

Come on. I am gonna miss you. Yeah?

Yeah. Aw, shoot. You're|my only girlfriend.

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