Terminal Page #2

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Skinny pencil-dick

seeks dominatrix

for abuse and humiliation.

Has own dungeon.

World's gone to sh*t,

and all anyone can think about

is their next dirty one

down the docks.

There it is, though.

There it is

in black and white.

So...

what's wrong with you?

I beg your pardon?

You're hardly the picture

of health. What's wrong?

You don't want to know.

I'm fascinated.

- Tell me.

- What's wrong with you?

I have an unquenchable bloodlust

for darkness and depravity.

That's nice.

Is it cancer?

No, no.

[coughs]

Has anyone ever introduced you

to the concept of small talk?

Well, what is it

if it's not cancer?

They don't know.

No way.

That is brilliant.

You're a bit odd, aren't you?

Unquestionably, but death

is by far the best bit.

- Of what?

- Of life!

Did you read that

in a birthday card?

You're funny.

All right,

let's examine the facts.

It's terminal, your sides hurt,

and you cough badly.

All signs point to

malignant tumor damage.

You're not in denial about it,

are you?

You're not desperately searching

for another explanation?

BILL:
I'm dying?

Yeah.

No, thanks.

But you don't know...

why or how?

No.

Will it be painful?

Oh, no.

Well, how can you be sure?

Painkillers.

[bottle clattering]

[telephone ringing]

Is there anything else?

[ringing continues]

Lolly?

It's definitely not cancer.

Okay. I don't want to

waste my time diagnosing you

if it's going to be some

run of the mill cancer thing.

Who says I need diagnosing?

You're dying.

Painfully, apparently.

And they don't know

why or what of.

It just sounds

pretty undiagnosed to me.

We're all dying, you realize.

Slowly, painfully.

Just a matter of time, friend.

See now, that's the spirit!

Are you scared?

I try not to think about it.

How's that working out

for you?

Not very well.

Are you being survived?

I have no idea

what that means.

Wife, kids?

Okay, you can't say that.

It's "survived by."

It has no other

grammatical context.

Jesus, what are you,

a dying English teacher?

Yeah.

Oh.

That's fair enough, I suppose.

Conjugate me

to your heart's content.

- Conjugation's different...

- Shut up.

Okay.

Are you sure

we haven't met before?

I don't know. Have we?

One shouldn't answer a question

with a question.

One shouldn't be such

a pompous prat, but here we are.

[laughs, coughs]

I think I would definitely

remember you if we'd met before.

You would think so,

wouldn't you?

[sirens blaring]

[groans]

What the f*** is going on?

Who the hell are you?

Untie me.

Now!

[exhales]

Listen to me.

You've made a mistake.

A big one.

But it is a redeemable error.

You're gonna put on

the rest of your clothes,

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