Team America: World Police Page #2

replacement, a f***ing actor?

Don't mind Chris.

He may be lacking courtesy,

but he's the best martial-arts expert

Detroit has to offer.

That's right, actor.

Just stay the f*** away from me.

And finally, we have our

psychology expert. Where's Lisa?

Right here.

Gary, this is Lisa. She specializes

in how the terrorists think.

Usually a case of malignant narcissism

brought on during childhood.

We've been doing our best

to keep the world safe, Gary.

But now somebody has supplied

the terrorists with WMDs.

And intelligence tells us

they plan to use them.

Isn't that right,

I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?

- That is affirmative.

- I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?

The most sophisticated computer

in the world.

I've intercepted communications

that several terrorist groups

are being organized for one

massive worldwide attack.

From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.

Has gathered,

it would be 9/11 times 100.

9/11 times 100?

Jesus, that's...

Yes, 91,100.

Basically, all the worst parts

of the Bible.

So now you see why we need you.

We will disguise you as a terrorist and

take you deep into the Middle East.

If your acting is successful, you'll be

able to get us the information we need

to stop this whole thing

from happening.

Of course, if you're not interested...

...there's the door.

All right. Thanks.

Gary. Hey, hold on a second.

Don't you understand?

Every country in the world is in danger.

How is it my responsibility

to do something?

Because like it or not, you're the one

with the power to do something.

I can't fight terrorists. I don't know

anything about guns or jets.

That doesn't matter.

If you wanna help people,

all that matters, Gary,

is what you have here.

Just think about it, okay?

Here, take this.

Baxter will take you wherever

you wanna go. Just remember:

Your freedom's at stake too.

What do you think Spottswoode

sees in him?

I don't know. But I think I see it too.

Hey, Baxter.

I wanna take a detour.

What would you do

If you were asked to give up

Your dreams for freedom?

What would you do

If asked to make

The ultimate sacrifice?

Would you think about

All them people

Who gave up everything they had?

Would you think about

All them war vets

And would you start to feel bad?

Freedom isn't free

It costs folks like you and me

And if we don't all chip in

We'll never pay that bill

Freedom isn't free

No, there's a hefty f***ing fee

And if you don't throw in

Your buck o'five, who will?

Buck o'five

Freedom costs a buck o'five

Our dear leader, Kim Jong II, says

the weapons of mass destruction

you requested are ready

for you to take.

I am still in the process of recruiting

and training new terrorists

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