Tadpole Page #2

Maybe if you were

in enough pain, you could.

Not even then, maybe.

Throw a couple cubes in there,

would you, Diane?

Sure.

How's that endodontist

of yours?

Great.

I have a wicked crush...

on your stepmother's

best friend.

Oscar.

I know, Professor Sherman.

Isn't it obvious?

What is this?

Voltaire?

Oscar

Voltaire said...

"If God did not exist,

he would have to be invented."

He was a funny guy.

Oscar!

Excuse me.

Professor Tisch

wants to stay and gossip...

about our colleagues

a little longer.

- Will you walk Daphne home?

- Dad, no.

Daphne's been taking the subway

since she was eight.

She's a good-looking girl,

don't you think?

She's all right.

Well, it would be

a nice gesture.

An empty gesture. No, Dad.

I'm fatigued this evening.

I've been on trains, in cars.

I've had two lengthy debates

on Voltaire and Henry Miller...

both of which I won,

incidentally.

I haven't unpacked yet,

got a lot of things to do...

and I'm not gonna stand here...

and argue about it with you,

all right?

Do you wanna go with me

to the Moby concert on Sunday?

Not really.

I don't go in much

for contemporary pop music.

What do you go in for?

You know, regular stuff.

Oscar,

contemporary pop music...

is regular stuff

for a fifteen-year-old.

Voltaire or whatever

is not regular.

- Well, we differ.

- Yeah.

God, you're like

a forty-year-old...

trapped in

a fifteen-year-old's body.

- I mean, it's not a bad body...

- Taxi!

Hold on.

Come on.

I live six blocks from here.

It's cold.

78th and Lex.

I have to wake up early.

You are so weird.

OK. Safe trip.

Hey, happy Thanksgiving, pal.

Say, how old are you, anyway?

Forty.

Me, too.

Doesn't it suck?

Ah, it's not so bad.

Your wife

probably didn't leave you

I'm not married, actually.

Well, don't wait too long.

All the best ones get taken.

I hear you there.

I adore French songs

of this period.

You're not French.

- It's part of my act.

- What act?

You gonna buy me a drink?

Bob, the lady's dry.

Well, I got to go feed the cat.

Why so glum, chum?

I have high expectations.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

You have beautiful hands.

Oh, Jeez. Oscar?

Oh, hiya, Diane.

Top of the night to you.

Oscar, you don't look so hot.

Oh, don't worry about me.

Hey... oh, careful!

Careful. Come here.

Come on. Come on.

Let me get you some coffee.

No, no, no. I gotta get home.

No, no.

You don't want your father...

to see you like this. Come on.

My wallet was stolen.

- You got mugged?

- Sort of.

What do you mean, "Sort of"?

She was very pleasant about it.

- Take your coat?

- No.

Well, come in.

Make yourself comfortable.

Ohh. It got chilly in here.

Hey, that's Eve's scarf.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote