Sweet Home Alabama Page #2

and I just feel like I should|probably tell them in person.

Of course.

And, um... I think|I should do it alone.

Mel, I'm gonna have to|meet them eventually.

I know, I know, and|they will love you...

eventually.

Is it because I'm a Yankee?|- Well, that... and a Democrat.

Okay... mum's the word.

No one will know.|- Thank you.

Secretary Hennings,|will you comment...

Hello.

Why haven't you told your|mother you're engaged?

Have you thought about children?

I'm sorry we're late.

That shade of lipstick does|nothing for you. What kept you?

Oh, it's none of your business.

Ah, you know I hate surprises.|What's going on?

Oh, Tom, always a pleasure.|Good to see you.

Melanie, darling.|- Hi, Your Honor.

So good to see you.

Look at you... always|the belle of the ball.

I hear very good things|about your new line.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.|- Always a pleasure.

Andrew?|- Yes?

Seems Melanie is wearing a skating rink|on a very important finger.

Um, Your Honor, I'd|really like to keep it...

Oh, my God, you're engaged?!

Quiet.

Bloody hell, Mel,|I'm your first New York friend,

and I have to read about it|with 12 million other people!

Sorry, honey,|she just grabbed my hand.

What was I supposed to do?

I know...|we read all about it.

So, did you cry?|- Wouldn't you?

One man for the rest of my life?|I'd bawl my bloody eyes out.

So why don't you meet us?|We're just around the corner.

Can't.|I'm in Alabama.

Oh... my God.

He's loud, but he don't bite.

Come on, shut up, hound!|Lie down.

Go on, stay.

Now, how can I help you?

Well, for starters, you can get|your stubborn ass down here...

and give me a divorce.

Come on, Jake, I mean it.|The joke's over.

Let's just finish this.|I've got a plane to catch.

You're shittin' me, right?

You know, I've never actually|understood that expression,...

but, no,|I'm not "shitting" you.

Look, it's even got these idiot-proof|tabs to make it easy.

There's one copy for me,|one copy for you...

and one copy for the lawyers.

What? Speak!

You show up here after 7 years...

without so much as a "Hey, there,|Jake, remember me... your wife?"

Or a "Hi, honey.|Lookin' good.

How's the family?"

You expect me to tell you|you look good?

Did they run out of soap down at|the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

They laugh at that up north|or wherever it is you been?

You knew where I was.

And don't even pretend you spent|all this time missing me.

Oh, I missed you,|all right.

But at this range,|my aim is bound to improve.

Is that a threat?

I've got a lawyer|who charges $350 an hour.

He billed me every time|you sent these papers back.

Well, I'm glad to see|you finally got the message.

Shut up, Bear!|- Shut up, Bryant!

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