Swearnet: The Movie Page #3

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- How was the flight?

- It was wonderful!

- Good.

Yeah, first class, easy peesy,

lemon squeezy...

good, Stephan.

That's great, thank you.

So, guys,

This is quite a selection

you've got here for us today.

"Trans-Am handyman"

And "cooking 'n working out

with mama kunt". Wow.

We've got full seasons

mapped out for both of 'em.

We can start shooting

whenever you guys want.

Straight up, guys,

We can't do a show

on our network

With the word "c*nt"

in the title.

Sorry.

No it's c*nt-

It's c*nt with a "k".

It's still the word c*nt

though, Mike, isn't it?

It could be a funny concept.

What if we called her uh...

"mama krazy"?

Or how about

"mama kooky"?

'Cause her name

is mama kunt.

Not on our network

it's not.

Okay, well your network

is one letter away

From being c*nt anyway,

So what the f***'s

the difference?

That one letter makes

a big difference, Mike.

It's just the kind of word

That makes a lot of people

uncomfortable.

It does.

Have you ever been

to Australia or Ireland?

They call sandwiches

c*nts over there.

They do.

Like we said before, guys,

If you're willing to do

Another toned down version

of "trailer park boys",

Then our network

will certainly listen.

- We can't!

- We told you that.

The producers own the rights.

They don't wanna do it. Jesus!

It's not like it used to be,

guys.

Even if you were willing to do

more "trailer park boys",

The new cnt guidelines

Would restrict you

to two 'fucks', two 'c*cks',

And four 'shits'

per episode.

Well, why don't we cut back

on the shits maybe,

Add a couple more fucks,

you know,

And then everybody'll be happy.

Uh, it doesn't really

work like that.

This isn't the Halifax

swap shop.

- No, I'm sorry, guys.

- Cnt just isn't comfortable

Taking that kind of risk

right now.

Christ, so it's an unequivocal

"no" then?

Yes...

it's a no.

Unless you're willing

to compromise on content.

Well we don't feel like

we should have to.

That's the way we talk.

That's the way everybody

f***in' talks.

People swear!

No, it's not. Not really, no. I don't.

I just wanna know,

seriously,

Are you both f***in'

retarded?

Uh, excuse me?

There's no reason to get

angry here, Mike.

You know what?

F*** you guys!

F*** you both!

We don't f***in' need ya!

Oh gosh, Mike,

but you do.

F*** off, Stephan,

you condescending little f***.

I'll slap that f***in' prison

p*ssy right off your face!

Slap it off?

Hey, why don't you

just shave it off

With your razor sharp wit?

You need to take a f***in'

big hydraulic suck

On my sh*t pipe,

f*** teeth!

- Wow.

- Okay, we're done here.

You obviously drunk

or stoned or both.

Can someone call

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