Surf School Page #3

Lopsided Lipschitz, yeah.

Yeah, she was cool.

She gave me my first D-minus.

My mom had that on the fridge

for, like, months.

Oh. Kids.

Nice to start up close and personal.

I'm Tilly Jones.

And I'm Boris Ilnayitch Jones.

And I am the eternally stiff

lover of this woman.

Look at you, honey.

Look how nice you look

in this light, huh?

Why do you look so nice

in the light, huh?

Sugarbuns.

I may never get another boner again.

Aw, that's just wrong.

That's it! Who's my champion?

Who's my champion?

Children in the room.

It's so hard for me

because I like the girl.

Larry! Larry!

Beaver alert.

Check it out, Larry.

Hola, senorita.

Thank you, Veronique.

Damn. I heard French chicks

don't shave, but...

So, what brings you kids

to the commune?

It's kind of our senior trip.

Only, the other seniors

don't really want us here.

All right.

Taking it to the man.

Yeah.

Well, here at the commune,

we take a personal interest

in our guests.

We believe the spirit of the Sixties

should... live on.

Right on.

Let's see how much you kids really do

need to learn, hmm?

Oh, my skirt's a little... short.

Who is this?

That's the dude

from the first Batman.

Yeah, that's that guy,

that old dude

that's got courtside tickets

to all the Lakers games.

Ding, ding, ding.

That would be wrong. Okay.

No, this, sweetie,

is not Jack Nicholson.

Does Richard Nixon ring a bell?

He was the first President to resign.

It was over Watergate.

Nixon was a symbol of everything

that was wrong with

America in the Sixties.

Flashing peace symbols to the crowd

then dropping bombs on

third-world countries?

Aren't we still doing that?

Yeah.

So you are the virgin boy.

Uh... yeah.

You are sacred in our culture.

It is the highest honor for a woman

to be the first with a virgin boy.

Wow. Okay.

Oh, hi, Veronique.

Can't you find a tree to swing from?

I'll see you later, virgin boy.

Thanks, Veronique.

I don't know if you understand English,

but you were in my dreams.

Supposed to be

a state-of-the-art facility.

Nah, man, this look like

the ghetto side of the beach.

This is surf school?

I don't see any desks

or pencil sharpeners.

And where's our teacher?

Aw, man, somebody's wasted him.

No, he's just smashed.

That's it, little dolphin.

Back it up.

Back that blowhole up.

Dirty blowhole.

Whoa, whoa. Free Willy.

Free Willy!

Hey, Rip! Rip!

Rip! Rip! Wake up!

Hey. Hey.

It's the guys form Laguna, you know?

The ones that sent you the deposit.

Ah. Groovy, man. I can...

I can dig it.

Uh... Iook.

I don't know what you're, ah...

your mothers told you, but, uh...

I can explain the, uh,

child welfare payments.

We're not your kids!

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