Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #3

I don't care what it shows. As mayor,

it's my responsibility to hire us a sheriff

that's not only got qualifications

but ain't gonna get killed

the first time he sticks

his nose out of the door.

There you go.

- What's your point?

- Just an exhibition of marksmanship.

- The bullet went through the hole.

- Maybe it did, maybe it didn't.

- Oh, it did. Take my word for it.

- I'd like to take your word but...

Would you mind doing it again,

Mr McCullough?

- You want me to do it again?

- If you don't mind.

- Well, I already shot one hole in your roof.

- That's all right.

I hope you didn't take offence

at nothing I said earlier, sir.

No. Gentlemen,

just to keep the record straight, now.

$150 a month

and the room and board is fine.

But I've got to do my prospecting.

I'm on my way to Australia.

You just name your terms, mister.

We'll rush to meet 'em.

Fine, as long as everything is straight.

Is there some kind of badge with this job?

Oh, you bet there is.

- I'm afraid it's a little bent up.

- That saved the life of whoever wore it.

It would have if it wasn't for all them

other bullets flyin' in from everywhere.

Gentlemen.

- Do we have a jail here?

- Do we have a jail?

A brand-new one with two cells that

the whole community built last month.

Even the dance-hall girls showed up,

made sandwiches and carried on.

It was designed

to be practically escape-proof.

Good, because I'm gonna have

to throw a couple of people in it.

- There's one thing. It's got everything.

- Even a new stove with a coffee pot.

The only thing it hasn't got

is iron bars for the cells.

You're kiddin'.

We had to send away for 'em

and they ain't arrove yet.

It's got glass windows and brooms

and kerosene lamps. You name it.

- Just no bars for the cells.

- Right.

- Well, all right, I'll think of something.

- You ain't wanted for anything anywhere?

Not that it matters. We understand

how them little things can happen.

No, I'm not wanted for anything anywhere.

You realise the chance you was taking

asking him that?

He might have took offence.

I'm the mayor and I got responsibilities.

The question had to be asked.

Mr Mayor, if I could get

a few men on this pump over here,

I think we could stop this thing.

Sure thing, Sheriff. Give us a hand, men.

All right, men. Let her go.

A little more.

Break it up.

OK, cut it.

- What are you tryin' to do?

- Stoppin' a fight.

- Who are you?

- I'm the new sheriff.

Oh, we got a new sheriff.

Let's see if he scares

as easy as the last sheriff.

I want all you people to quit disturbing

the peace and clean up this mess.

Yes, sir. Anything else?

- You got a name?

- Jake.

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