Sugar and Spice Page #3

---

She REPEATS for the other breast, then pulls her sweater

down.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

I know. I've been in the locker room

and seen south of the border. Number

two --

(whispers)

She has to see the school shrink.

Cleo lifts the back of her skirt - REVEALING CONAN O'BRIEN'S

face SILKSCREENED on her underpants (thought bubble above his

head reads "Friday... I love Cleo."). She KISSES HER HAND

and plants it on his/her cheek.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - SCHOOL COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY

Cleo sits in front of the SCHOOL COUNSELOR.

CLEO:

Dreams? You mean, like, where I'm in

Conan's all leather apartment - I don't

know if he has one, that's why it's a

dream - and suddenly we're buck-naked

and all oiled up. I don't know where

the oil comes from - again, that's why

it's a dream.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LINCOLN HIGH - GIRLS' BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

Next STALL DOOR SHAKES, but DOESN'T OPEN.

LISA (V.O.)

Cleo's weird, but Kansas Hill - that

girl's crazy.

HANDS APPEAR on top of the stall door - and KANSAS HILL,

petite, cute in a trashy, monster-truck-pull, kinda way -

CRAWLS UNDER.

KANSAS:

Son-of-a-blue-balled-b*tch! I always

get this one.

LISA (V.O.)

Mouth on her that could stop a bull in

heat. Gets her nut-brain from her mom.

See, Mrs. Hill's been in prison since

the day Kansas was born...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - 1983 - NIGHT

MRS. HILL'S blurry POV - from her hospital bed.

LISA (V.O.)

She was lying there, in labor with

Kansas, when she sees something going on

in the next bed.

Mrs. Hill's POV PANS LEFT - NEXT BED comes into focus.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Turns out it's Kansas' dad, uh, taking a

nurse's temp. Stay with me, I'm trying

to be delicate.

FOCUS CLEARS:

In silhouette, a MAN is F***ING a NURSE.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

So, Mrs. Hill whips out a shotgun and

blows his ass to kingdom come.

We see this - still in MRS. HILL'S POV.

LISA (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Jury said, because the majority of women

in Lincoln County having babies don't

bring a shotgun, it counted as

premeditation.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes