Suburban Gothic Page #3

What are you still doing

in town?

Well, most of you a**holes left

and I figured if all of us left

nothing around here

Would ever change.

The real question is

what are you doing here?

- Hector, my friend...

- Who's this f***ing a**hole?

Maybe you should

start thinking about uh,

selling

your construction company

and getting back behind a mower.

Yeah, you really missed

your calling, Donald,

I got to tell you.

Yeah, no, I'm trying

to distance myself

from that stereotype

at the moment.

? Cmo se llama?

What's your name?

Mi nombre es... The other

Mexican that's underpaid.

Will you get the f*** over

there with your compadres?

Dude, Where's

your sense of humor?

Get out of here. I want to talk

to your El bosso here.

You said you were

gonna be finished today.

- I did. But here's...

- My wife was counting on that.

She's on my ass in there.

I get it. Here's the thing.

I've never seen, in my 20 years

of doing this, Donald,

so many equipment malfunctions.

I mean, it's really...

it's f***ing weird.

I got to tell you.

The guys think

the property's cursed.

I'm dealing with that.

Well, now, that's

pretty goddamn superstitious

for a Mexican who doesn't

want to fall into a stereotype.

Yeah. It is, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Anyways, look, here's what

I might be able to do.

You can help me out here.

I might be able to talk them

into working through the night.

Yeah?

If you can sweeten the pot

a little bit.

Oh, Christ.

How's &2,000 sound?

$3,000 sounds better.

$3,0ooand...

It's a deal.

One more thing.

"Suck my dick."

Terrible, right?

Mm, it's a choice.

These lesbian bikers talked me

into joining their metal band.

"Suck my dick" was our mantra.

Hmm.

Cool mantra. I'd love to catch

a show while I'm in town.

Are you guys playing

any time soon?

We're on a permanent hiatus.

Hmm. You know, I think

I might have something

that'll make you feel better

about the tattoo.

"Trust no one"?

I'm probably not gonna sleep

with you anymore.

I understand.

You just dug yourself

a vagina grave.

I do that a lot.

So, you still believe

in all that paranormal stuff?

Believe in it?

I've experienced it firsthand.

Frank.

Frank.

Come on.

Well, there he is.

Your grandfather.

He was one real son of a b*tch.

Right daddy?

Hmm?

Aaahh!

- No sh*t?

- It's weird.

I used to see ghosts regularly,

and then just suddenly

it stopped.

I feel like,

as I've grown older,

I've unfortunately become less

sensitive to the spirit world.

Sounds like you have

an amazing gift.

Why don't you pursue a career

in the paranormal?

Oh, my dad

threatened to disown me

unless I went

to business school.

You know, I should

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