Step Sisters Page #2

He'd sneak into my room,

and with the passion of ten sailors...

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Such a good story. It reminds me of

when we talked about the boundaries.

Boundaries. Right, right.

You know what?

Harvard is my top choice for law school.

I could actually really use

an alumni recommendation.

Aren't your parents alums?

Um...

Yes. But "legacy" -

that's just a fancy word for nepotism.

Home is where the Harvard is.

I just made that up.

[WHISPERS] Home is where the Harvard is.

Oh, my, my

Look at it, girl

Just touch down

Add it to the show

I'm not phased

Because we're in another city

But I swear to God...

[BETH] Hey, girl!

Jumpy Jam.

You know what calms me down?

Is there something?

Weed, Billie Holiday,

Grand Theft Auto...

Oh, and tickling my man

in the rowboat.

You know what I mean?

I have no idea what you mean.

What's wrong?

My dad and my bougie egg donor

are in town.

- Oh.

- Fricking killing me.

I need, like, all the drinks.

Well, SBB is having a party tonight.

I know you think white sororities

are beer-soaked brothels

with less sisterhood

than an honor stoning.

Yeah.

But if you're just trying

to drown your sorrows...

come to my beer-soaked brothel.

["SHAKE MY BODY"

BY MICHELLE DELAMOR PLAYING]

Shake my body

Shake my body

[ALL CHANTING] Chug.

[SHOUTING] Is that a twerk pyramid?

[BETH] Yes!

Nectar of the gods, ladies?

Yep!

Are you gonna get "white girl" wasted?

Hate this song!

[BETH SQUEALS EXCITEDLY]

Yes!

Yeah. Hey!

The next one's a neck shot, douche.

Amber, this is my girl, Jamilah.

Amber is the only one in SBB

I've never wanted to choke out.

I don't let her choke out the girls,

but sometimes we pee in their shampoo.

Yeah!

[BETH] This is Libby.

And believe it or not, the whole

southern belle thing is not an act.

Oh, Beth!

Libby, this is my friend Jamilah.

So nice to meet you. You all want to play?

Oh, no. I'm from Philly.

We don't play with our drinks.

How precious!

I've been dying to go to those mooky,

blue-collar towns, like Philly or Detroit.

Oh, my gosh.

Have you ever been stabbed...

[LIBBY SQUEALS]

[JAMILAH] Oh, my God.

My heart was so low

Wait, you have black SBBs?

What?

Love is a battlefield

[BETH WHOOPS]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[BETH] Oh, Saundra, that was amazing.

This is my girl, Jamilah.

Jamilah, Saundra.

You killed it, sis.

We're not related.

[MAN SINGS OUT OF TUNE]

You're as cold as ice

Somebody likes being

the only chocolate in the candy dish.

[BETH] Oh, my God!

And that, right there, is Danielle Harris.

She's like a skinny Kim Jong Ew.

The Zeta Lambda Pi social tomorrow

may get awkward.

Amber called them all "Date-a-Bi" as some

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