Starukhi Page #2

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My life passes away uselessly.

I make a total recall of my past

and ask myself a question.

What did I live for?

What purpose was I born for?

May be it existed.

May be, my destination in life was very high.

Because I feel

immense strength in my soul.

But I've missed this destination.

I've been trapped by my passions,

Vain and empty passions.

I emerged from this melting pot

firm and cold as a piece of iron.

But I seem to have lost

foreverthe fervor of noble aspirations.

The best bloom of my life.

Since that time I played the role

of the axe of destiny many times.

I fell upon the heads

of the condemned ones.

I often did that without any anger.

I always did that without any remorse.

My love

Did not bring any happiness to anyone.

Because I made no sacrifices

forthe sake of the beloved ones.

I loved for myself.

For my own pleasure.

I simply satisfied

strange desires of my heart.

Devouring other people's feelings,

sufferings, joys and caresses.

And never getting fed up with that.

I resembled a hungry man

who took an exhausted nap.

Dreaming of delicious dishes

and sparkling wines.

Swallowing hungrily these

gifts of his imagination,

Feeling better and better

And waking up to nothing,

To the same hunger.

And despair.

May be

I'll die tomorrow.

And there will be not

a single person in the world

who could say they understood me.

Some people think me worse,

Some-betterthan I really am.

Some will say

"He was a nice fellow!"

Others will say

"What a bastard!"

Both statements will be false.

Afterthat, what's the use in living?

You keep dragging along

Because of curiosity

Expecting something new.

Funny!

Funny

And disgusting

She has everything at hand

And in time.

We've stayed awake all nigh. Kept waiting.

- Oh, what a headache!

- Fix, fix your hangover.

- How is the singer?

- I dunno, packing up,

May be, saying good-bye to his Grandma's photos.

- Oh, Fedor!

- Fine!

Dear, see him off to

the train doors.

- We'll see him off OK.

- See to it that he gets into the carriage.

- Otherwise he'll miss his train and will start hanging around.

- I'll take him to the trolley.

- And?

- And that's all. Because I have to go to the firing range.

- If I'm late, they'll have my scalp.

- Ask your boys to see him off.

- Well, they'll see to it.

- OK, that's fine.

Do not worry.

Where is this dude, eh?

Honk him.

At last, here he is.

Jackass, leave it alone!

Drop it. Leave it alone.

Just a souvenir, mom, just a souvenir.

Pasha, Pasha, come on.

They'll have my scalp at the firing range.

Do not forget us, come again!

Do not forget us.

Come visit your granny's grave.

Do not forget us.

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