Stag Page #2

What, are you crazy?

Oh, sorry! I'm crazy?

You're shoving a pineapple up

some guy's ass, and I'm crazy?

It wasn't the whole pineapple!

Don't you yell at me!

I would never shove

a pineapple-

It's impossible!

It's impossible

to shove

a pineapple

up a man's ass!

I said don't yell!

It was the-

'Cause it-

Forget it! Let's just

forget it, okay?

You know what,

if you're so worried,

why don't you ask

your dad or a friend

to keep their eye out

for danger?

I did.

I asked Carl.

Carl? What?

You asked Carl?

What's wrong with Carl?

That is the same question

all my friends ask

whenever they meet him.

"What the hell

is wrong with Carl?"

[ dramatic music playing ]

Take me

to the basement.

You were awesome

in Tiger Bait.

What did you say?

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Cut!

What'd you say?

Listen, Clark-

It's actually Carl.

Yeah, um,

you gonna be okay here?

You sure you can

handle this all right?

Hey, Gus, dude,

I'm an actor.

I can do this sh*t

standing on my head.

Okay, great.

But we did tell you

that Veronica likes to

keep to herself, right?

Oh, yeah, I know.

Right.

Right.

Okay.

It's just Tiger Bait's

one of my all-time

favorite movies, so...

Okay.

Have you seen

Tiger Bait?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I've seen it, but,

um, I'm more concerned

about making

this movie right now,

so if you can't handle it

just let me know.

I can get

someone else here.

No, wouldn't want you

to go to all that trouble.

It's actually no trouble.

We just need to find someone

that can fit into that suit,

and then you're gone.

I'm good.

You're sure now?

Totally sure.

Okay, great, 'cause

if you f*** up again,

I will personally

drag you off this set

by your hair, okay?

All good! Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, and, Clark?

Carl.

Easy on the door,

okay?

All right,

let's pick that up.

Shutting the gate

too hard.

I work out, so-

GUS:
Clark!

Well, that's everything.

Yep.

But, Sarah, I just-

Oh, gosh, Henry,

don't.

Don't do this, okay?

These things,

they happen all the time,

and the best thing to do

is just to...

just to move on.

But I live here.

Yeah, okay,

you know what?

Don't worry.

It's gonna be okay.

I'm sure you're

gonna meet someone,

you know,

'cause you're just-

You're just a really...

nice guy.

RORY:
You need

to come to this!

Okay, I'll go.

Yes! Yes!

Yes, you will!

Okay, fantastic.

I'm gonna need you

to pick up the stripper.

Whoa, what?

Yeah,

the stripper I hired,

she has no way

of getting there.

And? I need you to pick her up.

Why don't

you pick her up?

On my bike?

Oh, my God.

I don't have

a license, Luke.

Do you know why

I don't have a license?

Yes, I know, Rory. I'll tell

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