Spinning Boris Page #2

No, wait.

We know all about you.

You were highly recommended.

Mr. Braynin, could I just put you

on hold for one more second?

We'll be right back with you.

Hang on there.

George, I know

what you're thinking.

And you're about

to f*** yourself?

No, now listen, George.

Okay, he is probably nuts. That

would make a lot of sense...

but did you ever think for a second,

just one second here...

that he actually

may be for real?

I mean, you know,

what if this is Yeltsin?

If?

If my grandmother had balls...

she'd be my grandfather.

George, I need you

to concentrate, okay?

George, listen to me. This is

the first free election in Russia!

The expected voter turnout

is sixty-three percent.

George, that is

ninety million people.

No consultant has ever moved

those kinds of number before.

I mean, for Christ's sake, George,

this could be the Mount Everest...

of consulting.

George?

- Hello.

- Are you listening to me?

Yeah.

No, I'm multitasking.

Let me just get

Dick on the line, okay?

- He's good at cutting the bullshit.

- He's gonna need a big knife.

Hello.

Dick, this is George

and Joe here.

We have a Yakov Smirnoff

on hold.

Says he wants us

for a big gig in Russia...

- maybe for Yeltsin.

F- Y-I...

the biggest election

in the history of democracy.

I'm in. Why not?

I have nothing to do.

Okay, now we're talking.

Hang on.

Mr. Braynin, Dick Dresner

has joined us here.

Mr. Braynin, it's Dick Dresner.

How much money do you have

to spend on this campaign?

Unlimited. Whatever it takes

to win.

For something like this, you're gonna

need state-of-the-art everything.

Offices, telephones,

computers, Internet...

Production facilities

for television and radio.

Do you have all that

in Russia?

Well, if we don't have something,

we'll buy it for you, Mr. Dresner.

- Anything else?

- Yeah, our fee...

is a quarter of a million dollars

plus expenses...

and first class

airline tickets.

Done.

Our only request...

is that this arrangement

be top secret.

Congratulations, my friends.

You're hired.

I'll let the client know

we got the Americans.

- I can't believe how stupid we are.

- What are you talking about, George?

This could be the gig

of all gigs.

Yeah, come on, George!

This is the world stage.

We get Yeltsin re-elected, we're

gonna be hotter than wildfire.

We should have asked

for a million.

I think this was all

a Russian conspiracy...

to get me out of Bali.

I wanna go back and I'm not

giving them a damn refund.

Come on. Keep your pantyhose on.

So, they're a little late.

Russians aren't exactly known

for their punctuality.

Gentlemen,

I'm Felix Braynin.

Welcome to Moscow!

- Good to meet you.

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